Total pages in book: 115
Estimated words: 107763 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 539(@200wpm)___ 431(@250wpm)___ 359(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 107763 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 539(@200wpm)___ 431(@250wpm)___ 359(@300wpm)
“Welcome, Your Highness,” he said from where he stood near the shelves of books on my right.
“Thank you, sir. Please call me August or Wilhelm, if you prefer.”
“If I prefer?” he repeated, pulling a book from the row above him. “Her Majesty did not make it seem as if our preferences mattered.”
“Please excuse my aunt; she is rather determined.”
“That is the problem. I cannot excuse her, for she is the queen,” he said as he went back to his desk with his book. “If she were not the queen, I would be compelled to tell you not to bother with the words you seek to say now. I could not bear the thought of my beloved girl marrying a man who throws fists at other men in his anger, instead of words. I prefer her to marry a nobleman of England, with land in England, so should she ever need me, I could go to her. I prefer my children to fall in love with people I can respect. And while I believe myself a tolerant person, I do not think I can respect a man who spent years traveling from brothel to brothel.”
I hung my head, because I knew this would be the case. And he was not wrong. Outside of being a prince and nephew to the queen, what could I truly offer?
“I can commend you, at least, for not making excuses for your behavior,” he added.
“I know that no excuses can be made. I am well aware of my failings.”
“Yet you still stand here? Is this by your own volition, or the queen’s command?”
“It is my choice.”
“Is that so? I hear the queen has been seeking to convince you to marry my daughter for quite some time now, and you have sternly rejected it. Once, even to my daughter’s face.”
Fuck.
“That is true.”
“Then how is this of your own volition?” he questioned, sitting down. I still stood.
“Because while she is the queen to you, she is my aunt.” I would not back down now. “You may not be able to do what you prefer, but I can, and have. For years, I have done what I preferred. I did not care for the consequences. Why would I? I had already lost everything. I lived for my own gratification only.”
“But now you are miraculously a changed man?”
“No.” I shook my head. “I believe I am still much the same. But now, all I want is Hathor. I can think of nothing else.”
“And when you decide to want someone else? When your thoughts move on to some other woman—”
“They will not.”
“How can you be sure? Your past does not give much confidence.”
“It is because of my past that I know she is different for me, sir. You said I traveled from brothel to brothel: Yes, it is true. Countless women have passed by me, and none have ever made me so sick with worry and doubt. Not one had the power to infuriate me one moment and charm me the next. Not one ever made me feel so lacking, or made me yearn to be better, to be different. When I do not see her, I am agitated. When another man dares get too close to her, I am colored green inside. When she is beside me, there is a rippling joy that goes through me, and I seek her smile or frown or gaze by any means possible. I know I am not worthy of her, and I desperately wish for her anyway.”
“And if I say, ‘how nice,’ but the only way I would accept this is with a written command from the king?”
“Then I will go to the king and get that command.” I truly would. “But I would much prefer to prove myself to you and your family.”
“And how will you do that?”
“By being the type of man you can respect.”
“Such men are not built in a day.”
“Then I will use as many days as needed.”
“Prince Wilhelm, even in your circumstances, you could have anyone else.”
“Are you not hearing me, sir? I desire no one else. I can love no one else.”
He frowned, and for a moment his eyes looked as if they were begging me not to say the words. But I could not avoid it, not after the display I carried on with her this evening, not with the way my heart was screaming inside of my own chest. “Lord Monthermer, I seek your permission to marry your daughter, Lady Hathor Du Bell.”
Hathor
I had not slept. At least, not well. It was hard to sleep, when your dreams were happening in reality. I could not help but feel as if, maybe, this was not really happening. That maybe he did not want me, but was compelled to seek my hand due to yesterday’s chaos. I tossed left, right, and nearly off the end of my bed, trying to come to grips with what was happening. Just when I had decided he truly did not like me as much I had come to like him, Bernice placed a letter in front of me.