Total pages in book: 117
Estimated words: 112951 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 565(@200wpm)___ 452(@250wpm)___ 377(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 112951 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 565(@200wpm)___ 452(@250wpm)___ 377(@300wpm)
“I did. Did you?”
She nodded. “Linde’s a lot of fun. He’s a good guy.”
Casey asked, “Is he single?”
I frowned. “Why? Are you interested?”
Casey lifted up a shoulder. “Maybe.”
I frowned again. “What about my brother?”
“You want the details on your brother’s love life?” Sarah laughed as she asked me.
I didn’t, but I saw the look in Casey’s eyes. I was thinking I was going to find out more than I wanted.
Casey leaned forward, propping her elbows on the table. “I have a thing for your brother. I don’t think he has one for me. I haven’t talked to him in forever.”
“Really?”
I was surprised. I asked Gage to back off, but he hadn’t, and then I stopped caring.
I was thinking back over the holiday. “I don’t remember him talking about other girls when we were home. Usually, he’ll mention one or two. That’s why you asked about Linde?” I didn’t wait for her answer. I dropped my voice. “He’s a great guy.”
“I know.” Her head lowered. “That’s why I’m asking.”
I didn’t know what to say, and I also didn’t see any waitresses around the place. Spotting a few people going to their tables with trays of food, I asked, “Do I need to go up and order?”
Kristina didn’t answer. She started to slip out of the booth. “I’ll go with you.” Once we were out of earshot, she asked, “You okay? Is it weird with the whole Casey/Gage/Linde thing?”
There was a line at the counter to order, and we stood at the end. “I just don’t want anyone to get hurt.”
“I think she doesn’t want to get hurt. She’s a bit sensitive after, you know.”
The rape.
My attack.
The aftereffects would never end, I was realizing.
“Yeah. I get that.”
We moved forward with the line. We were three people away, and I began to scan the boards to figure out what I wanted to order.
“You and Shay are doing good?”
I remembered the moment just minutes ago in his Jeep, where I didn’t want to talk about my attack, but should, and that I was falling in love with him. My throat burned again. I could relate to Casey not wanting to get hurt. “We have fun together.”
“Just fun?”
I nodded. “Fun. Sex. Talking. The whole thing. He was really great after my attack last semester.”
I could feel her watching me.
One person away.
Fuck. I needed to find something to order.
“What’s going on here? I’m missing something.”
I said, “I’m missing what I want to eat. You guys ordered pizza. I could eat that, too, maybe?”
“What’s going on with you?”
The last person stepped aside. It was my turn. The guy had a pad of paper ready for my order. Shit, shit, shit. I was under the gun.
“Just a soda.”
He wrote it down and then rang it up on the register. “You sure? Nothing else?”
My thoughts were scrambled so I said the first thing I read from the board, “Mozzarella sticks.”
“Okay.” He gave me the total, and I handed over my cash. After he gave me the empty cup to fill, I moved to stand by the window and wait for them to call my order. I’d forgotten this was how the diner operated, but Kristina waited with me.
I suggested, “You can go back. You don’t have to wait with me.”
She snorted. “Right, and let you get off the hook? I think not.” She nudged me with her shoulder. “Talk to me. What’s going on?”
“Nothing.” Which was the truth. Kind of. Then I blurted out, “I love him.”
“You love Shay?”
“No.” I threw her a look. “I love Linde. We have a wild and forbidden passion for each other. Of course, it’s Shay. He’s the guy I’m dating.”
“I know.” She held her hands up. “You hold your cards close to your chest. I just wanted to make sure.”
I felt like an ass right away. “I’m sorry. I—fuck! I’m . . . I don’t know. I just realized it, but I should’ve known long ago.” This was why I hated him. This was why I’d been adamant about not befriending him, about not being in a study group with him, about not looking at him, talking to him, anything.
Because I knew, deep inside, that I was going to fall in love with him. I felt a lump forming in my throat again. That hated feeling was back, but it was different. It had a whole twisted side to it because it was me, hating that I loved him.
I was so fucked.
They called my mozzarella sticks. I blindly took them back to the booth.
The girls were happy, descending on them until only one was left for me. Kristina hadn’t said anything else, sensing the shitstorm going on inside me, but I felt her watching me the whole time during the meal.
I left the last mozzarella stick.
I never ate any of the pizza.
Even my soda was left untouched. I dumped the whole thing out when we left.