Total pages in book: 73
Estimated words: 72308 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 362(@200wpm)___ 289(@250wpm)___ 241(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 72308 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 362(@200wpm)___ 289(@250wpm)___ 241(@300wpm)
Now I was the one who looked away.
“You assumed I already knew…but it’s not Cauldron. Must be Elise.”
“Aren’t you smart?”
“What happened?” Despite the savageness in my voice, she always kept her tone gentle.
“We’re over.”
“Why?”
“Because we are.” My eyes remained on the window, watching new raindrops form on the glass then streak down like rivers.
“You can talk to me.”
My eyes shifted back to her. “You’re the woman I wanted to marry. I thought you would give me strong sons and beautiful daughters. No, I can’t talk to you. Not about this.” I looked away again.
It was quiet. Like the conversation was over. She just needed to get up and leave. “Neither one of us feels the way we used to. I used to hate you…and now I love you.”
I fought against the urge as hard as possible, but my desperation won. My head turned so I could look at her face. It was the first time she’d said that to me, and probably the only time she would say it.
“And I know your feelings for me have evolved. Now you care for me like a sister. Care for me like your friend.”
“I don’t have any friends.”
“You’re wrong about that because you have at least one—me.”
My eyes shifted away.
“What happened with Elise?”
“She ruined it. That’s what.”
“And how did she do that? Because I know she’s far too hung up on you to sleep around or betray your trust.”
I gave a slight smile because she was closer than she realized. “She told me she loved me.”
Camille was quiet.
I looked at her again, wanting to see her reaction.
“Dumping her was an asshole response.”
“And I’m an asshole, so there you go.”
“No, you aren’t. Why would you do that to her?”
I tried to keep my anger in check, but it was impossible. “Because she made a big speech about her rules. You know what her rules are? To never want anything more, because the second I ask for more, she’ll dump me. She was very clear about that. She lured me into a false sense of security, made me think I could be present in that relationship because there was no future, but that was all a bunch of bullshit.”
“That’s not what happened—”
“And you would know? I’m sorry, were you there?”
Camille gave me that hard gaze, the one that warned impending doom. “She’s never had a client who meant anything to her, so it’s never been an issue. And then she met you…and she got swept off her feet. She’s human, Grave.”
I looked away again.
“I know you care about her.”
“Of course I do.”
“And I know the reason you’re so angry right now is because you didn’t want to lose her.”
My jaw went tight because she’d hit the nail right on the head.
“You weren’t ready for it to end.”
I ignored her.
“So, get her back.”
“I can’t.” My head turned back to her. “The second she put that out in the open, everything changed. I can’t just go back to what we were because it doesn’t exist anymore. I was just a man with a whore, but now…”
“You’re a man with a woman.”
I listened to the raindrops pelt against the window. “That’s not what I wanted—”
“But it’s what happened. And I know you’ll never admit it, not even to yourself, but I know you love her too.”
My eyes darted back to her so fast. “Don’t tell me how I feel—”
“I’m not telling you anything. I’m acknowledging it.”
“This isn’t the relationship that I wanted. Period. When I hired her, I just wanted something easy, something to forget…the past.” Now I wouldn’t look at her. “The last thing I want is another relationship.”
“Well, you’re in one, whether you like it or not.”
“I’m not ready for marriage—”
“Did she ask to get married?” Camille asked skeptically. “Grave, all she did was tell you how she feels.”
“How does that nursery rhyme go? First comes love, then comes marriage…then the baby in the baby carriage? The second she said that, she terminated the best thing that had ever happened to me.”
“Grave—”
“I don’t want to be a stepfather. I told her that.”
Camille’s eyes fell, like she knew how much that must have hurt Elise.
“I felt like shit for saying it, but she needs to understand…”
“Have you met her kids?”
I clenched my jaw before I answered. “No.”
“Then how do you know that’s something you don’t want?”
“Would you want to raise kids that Cauldron had with some other woman?” I asked incredulously.
“His kids would be my kids,” she said gently. “So, yes.”
She was a woman, so I shouldn’t have asked her.
“You can still have your own kids, Grave. I’m sure she would want to have your babies.”
I focused on the window.
“You shouldn’t throw this away. You should at least give it a chance.”
“I already told you I’m not ready for this—”
“You aren’t ready to love a woman you already love?” she asked, bewildered. “You say you aren’t ready for it, but you’re already living it. You just refuse to acknowledge it…which is pretty cowardly.”