Total pages in book: 106
Estimated words: 100060 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 500(@200wpm)___ 400(@250wpm)___ 334(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 100060 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 500(@200wpm)___ 400(@250wpm)___ 334(@300wpm)
“I think Banks is the smart one,” Gabe muses.
“Glad you’re all caught up,” Tobias says, patting Gabe on the shoulder.
I want to kick both men in the shins, but I’m too focused in on Banks being so perceptive when it comes to me. “I never said this was going to be long term.”
“Why?” Banks asks, patiently.
“I just told you. Boyfriends are a full-time job.”
“It’s more than that, Elise.”
Heat blooms against the backs of my eyes, so I raise my chin defiantly. But I can’t say anything without saying everything. I press my lips together tighter, shaking my head. Vaguely, I realize Banks is a genius, because there is something about being in this stupid room, locked away in the dark with an hour on the clock, that makes my defenses thin to nothing. This moment is so far from any reality that I’m used to, what does it matter if I say something too personal that I’ll regret?
Gabe takes one of my hands. Tobias threads his fingers through the other.
They both squeeze. And at the same time, Banks presses his forehead to mine.
My insides just…erode. Air escapes my lungs, words tumbling along with it.
“Fine. We moved around a lot when I was growing up. I’m a military brat. And, um…” I close my eyes and take a deep breath. “I had so many best friends. I would find someone special and give them all my trust. Take all of theirs in return. Sleepovers whispering in the dark and building forts. When I got a little older, it was confiding crushes and going through puberty together. Then it was time to go. It was always time to go. It was like having my heart ripped out every time. I’d try to keep in touch, but they would find someone else, or the bond wouldn’t be the same as being face to face. The good just faded. So I stopped trying. It’s so much easier this way. Please just let me make this easy.”
There’s a long silence.
Then Tobias, “We’re in a fake prison cell in day-old tuxedos. I think the easy ship has sailed, love.”
Banks and Gabe whack him in the shoulders.
He sighs, looking regretful. “I’m sorry you had to lose people so often, Elise.”
“So am I,” Banks says, his voice sincere.
Gabe squeezes my hand hard and we simply remain like that for a few minutes.
“What if we agree to a certain length of time, like a trial period?” Gabe surprises everyone by suggesting. “At the end of it, you can decide if you want to continue.”
“That’s not going to work. I’m going to get too…”
“Attached,” Banks finishes for me.
I press my trembling lips into a straight line.
“That was my ulterior motive,” Gabe says quietly. “Getting you as attached as we are.”
“Gabe, you’re secretly kind of diabolical.”
“Thank you.” He nods for a moment. “What’s diabolical?”
Tobias sighs. “I understand your fears, Elise. I lost my best friend, albeit for different reasons. You make an emotional investment and then suddenly, it means nothing. Maybe it meant nothing all along. Investing that energy again seems pointless.” He shakes his head a moment, mouth poised to speak. “But this isn’t. It’s not pointless.”
“Give us time to convince you of that,” Banks says, kissing my forehead. “We are three men who have nothing in common. We didn’t even like each other. In some ways, we still don’t.”
“Amen to that,” Gabe sighs, looking at Tobias.
Tobias rolls his eyes.
“But we feel very strongly about you, Elise. So much that we’ve learned an entirely new nature. How to be unselfish. How to give instead of take.” Those words carry reminders of last night and my thighs flex in response. “This isn’t temporary.”
That sentiment is echoed in the eyes of the other two men, their intensity snaking around my limbs and pulling me under. Back to the place of willing surrender I was in last night.
Fight it, whispers my last iota of self-preservation.
“You don’t understand what you’re getting into. My fear of committing has bled out into every other part of my life. Professionally, I take shortcuts, because I’m afraid to do the hard work and fail. It’s why I’m a sandwich girl trying to be a reporter.” The hard part, the worst part, climbs my throat. Am I really going to reveal my worst shame out loud to these men?
Yes. I am.
I can’t believe it, but I am.
“And…I was ready to change. I was. I took a trip home to San Diego and told my parents I was done messing around. Wasting time and money with my harebrained ideas, like food trucks and all-natural deodorant. I enlisted with the marines. I was going to be in the military like my dad and finally make them proud of me, but they rejected my application. They looked at my work history and could see I had no capacity for commitment.” I try to pull my hands free of Tobias and Gabe’s grip, try to leave the warmth of Banks’s body, but they all step closer. They press in on me tightly as I gulp in a huge breath of air. “I went right back to my old habits, because I don’t know what else to do. You guys really don’t want any part of this.”