Total pages in book: 79
Estimated words: 80176 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 401(@200wpm)___ 321(@250wpm)___ 267(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80176 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 401(@200wpm)___ 321(@250wpm)___ 267(@300wpm)
Just when I was about to get out of the truck, she seemed to pull herself together and left.
I watched her go, then went on to the job I was supposed to be at over an hour ago.
Chapter 17
I run like the winded.
-T-shirt
Kennedy
Three days later
I was pissed.
It’d been seventy-two hours since Trixie had passed, and I hadn’t heard word one from Darren the entire time.
I’d had to find out from the paper—the fucking paper! —when Trixie’s funeral was. Too bad it was a day after the funeral.
I didn’t even get to say goodbye!
Now I was at his house, wondering why the hell I was getting calls from the school saying that the kids transfer papers were ready.
“We’re leaving,” Darren said as he resituated the box that was tipping precariously over the top of the front seat. “Today.”
“You’re leaving?” I gasped, so surprised to hear Darren’s words that they hit me like a physical blow.
“It’s too hard on them to see you,” he lied. “Looking at you is like a reminder, every day, that their mother isn’t here anymore.”
My mouth went dry.
“Darren,” I paused. “That’s not my intention, but when I saw them at the hospital, they didn’t seem like that was bothering them. They seemed happy that I was there. What’s really going on?”
He snorted, “Doesn’t matter what you think. What matters is what is.”
Fucking asshole.
“You’re moving. What about the house? What about the land?”
He looked away.
“I sold it.”
My stomach sank.
“You what?”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
He’d sold our family land? He’d sold the land that my father had given to him, thinking one day he’d give it to his kids.
“You seriously did not do that.” I found myself biting my lip.
He looked away again.
“I had to have money to move away from here. Seeing you every single day is enough to make my heart hurt.” He turned to look at me. “The sight of you makes me want to vomit.”
I looked down at my hands.
I mean, on one hand, I could understand that by looking at me it had to be bringing up memories that were still too raw to touch on.
On the other, though, he’d known that Trixie and I were twins. He’d known how close we were—at least how close I thought we were. He’d known that that land wasn’t just his. It was ours.
And now it was gone.
“Who did you sell it to?”
“A corporation,” he said. “I’m not sure of their actual names. Listen, Kennedy.”
I didn’t want to look at him. I was afraid that if I did, then my carefully constructed wall that was keeping my tears at bay would crumble.
“The kids and I are leaving, and moving to Iowa, closer to my parents.” He paused. “I want you to give us a while before you come visit.”
“How long is a while?” I finally asked, voice rough and raspy with my need to cry.
“A year,” he paused. “Maybe two. I’ll let you know when it’s okay.”
A year or two.
Did he know that I saw those kids three times a week for hours a day for the last three years? Did he realize how hard it was going to be not to see them anymore? They’d think that I abandoned them!
But there was nothing I could do, so I nodded, sick to my stomach.
I didn’t agree, but these were his kids. I had no right to tell him how to raise them.
“Thank you for understanding.”
He started to close the door, but I stopped it by placing one hand on the side of the door. He could’ve slammed my hand in it if he’d wanted to, but I was betting he wouldn’t.
“She was deathly afraid of that tractor.”
Darren opened the door and glared at me.
“We let our insurance lapse.” He said.
I didn’t know what to say to that.
“We couldn’t afford to pay it.” His face completely closed down. “This way the kids get money from the state for losing a parent. If we’d have had to pay for her medical bills, we couldn’t afford to live.”
Then he closed the door, leaving me reeling.
I knew what he was saying.
They couldn’t afford to pay for the cancer treatment. This way, she died with dignity. This way, she didn’t suffer. This way…this way I lost my sister a whole lot faster than I would’ve the other way.
And just like that, he started the car—my old car—and drove away. It’d been mine when I was sixteen, and I’d given it to Trixie when hers had bit the dust a little over a year ago.
Then I’d taken on a car payment for the old blue beast that I drove around now.
Fuck my life.
One of these days I’d wake up from the nightmare that my life had become.
Chapter 18
I don’t have to check the prices when I shop. I make my own money and spend it how I want to.