Total pages in book: 100
Estimated words: 96641 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 483(@200wpm)___ 387(@250wpm)___ 322(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 96641 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 483(@200wpm)___ 387(@250wpm)___ 322(@300wpm)
I ducked again, but several of the bottles made contact, and spices covered me. I sneezed wildly. “That’s it.” I clasped the nearest weapon, a Victorian lace parasol, and held it out toward her. “I’m going to have you arrested for assault and battery.”
My mind quickly calculated the facts. I could have her arrested, and then she’d have to talk to Pierce. I fumbled in my pocket for my phone.
“The hell you are.” She latched onto another lace parasol, this one pink, and swung it at me.
I ducked, yelping, and then lifted my white parasol toward hers. We dueled like a couple of sword fighters in a wild fencing match. Some of the spices dropped into my left eye, and it burned. I howled, smashing my watering eye with one hand and continuing to fight her with the parasol. “This is ridiculous,” I snapped.
“You just threatened me,” she yelled, dropping the parasol and leaping toward me, tackling me to the floor.
I landed hard, and my head thunked against the planks. Pain clicked down my back, hitting every vertebra on the way. Furious, I reached up and punched her in the jaw, throwing her off me. I rolled over.
“That’s enough,” a male voice yelled.
Slowly, and still on our hands and knees, we both turned and looked up. Holy crap. A tall, dark figure stood in front of us dressed as Cupid—the hot, fit guy with the curly golden hair and mask. He nocked an arrow and pointed it at us. He was even taller than I remembered, and his tight, black shirt showed hard-cut muscle.
I slowly stood, holding up my hands as Lisa did the same. I looked beyond him to see the other two Cupids staring at us, once again in extra-large white shirts, the biggest guy shaking slightly.
“I’ve got these two,” the lead man said. “Get anything of value.”
The two short Cupids scrambled in different directions, throwing items into large pink felt bags.
Lisa wiped pink paint off her shirt. “I’ve heard of you. What the hell do you want?”
“Just money, lady,” Cupid said.
“How about you leave the money here?” she snorted, coming up on my side.
Man, nothing really scared this chick. “Nobody needs to get shot this time,” I said.
The Cupid stared at me. I couldn’t make out the color of his eyes, and his voice still sounded tinny, but I tried to memorize every inch of him.
“You were at the jewelry store,” he said.
“Yeah, I was.”
Lisa looked at me. “That’s suspicious.” She fumbled on a shelf next to her and grabbed what appeared to be a funky seventies-era lava lamp.
“Don’t do it,” the guy snarled, turning his arrow toward her.
She halted before she could smack me with it.
Great, now I owed the muscular Cupid.
Glass shattered from somewhere behind us.
She jumped. “You don’t have to break everything,” she yelled.
As an answer, something heavy crashed to the floor.
She shook her head. “Why are you here? Rumor has it you steal stuff and then give it away to poor people. I am a poor person. I could almost be a charity, dude.”
I couldn’t see anything behind the mask, but I swore he smiled. His body was cut, and his black jeans were form-fitting. I’d estimate the size of his boots at maybe a thirteen or fourteen, which fit with his extraordinary height. I couldn’t tell his age, but something felt young to me. Maybe it was just the mask and crazy hair.
“Are you about done?” he called out.
“Still on it,” another tinny voice called back as what sounded like a heavy piece of furniture was turned over. They were destroying the place.
A migraine tried to poke through my left eye. “Are you following me?”
“Nope. You seem to be in the right place at the right time,” he said.
The story of my life. Could I lunge at him and take him down? He had the arrow nocked and aimed in our direction. He could certainly get off a shot before I reached him.
“What’s your deal anyway?” I asked.
“Just a good Samaritan,” he returned, seeming pretty much at ease while committing armed robbery.
“You’re not a good Samaritan. You keep a quarter of the loot,” I said.
“Hey, I’m working my ass off here,” he returned.
How unoriginal. “Are you going to take that from him?” I asked Lisa. “He’s stealing from you.”
The woman seemed seriously unhinged. Maybe she’d charge him so I could leap behind her and grab the weapon.
“He’s got an arrow pointed at us, a steel-tipped one,” she snapped.
So she did have a sense of right and wrong, or at least for self-preservation.
The other two Cupids returned.
“We got everything of value,” the widest guy said. “Even some good hunting knives from the back.” I doubt these guys knew decent stemware because they still hadn’t taken several good glass pieces. But they’d no doubt stolen some valuables.