Total pages in book: 112
Estimated words: 103637 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 518(@200wpm)___ 415(@250wpm)___ 345(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 103637 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 518(@200wpm)___ 415(@250wpm)___ 345(@300wpm)
A tense vein appeared on Dad’s forehead. “So this is about Leah?”
“Everything in my life is about Leah!” Mike roared, spreading his arms wide. “I wouldn’t have become a member if it wasn’t for what happened to her, and you know it.”
Mom exchanged a glance with Dad and got up when he nodded. She rolled up her top, revealing the protruding scar under her navel. It had been there since Mike could remember, and its appearance had never improved
“See this?” She asked, pointing it out to Mike. “I never had a Cesarean. During the worst times for the Smokeys, when some of you were still babies, and most of you didn’t even exist yet, your dad’s enemies came for me.”
Leo held his breath and grabbed her hand. “Mom…”
She shook her head and squeezed his fingers in the deathly silence that filled the room at that revelation. “It’s okay, I survived. I knew what I was in for when I married your father, even though we were very young at the time. Doesn’t mean I didn’t suffer, but I chose him. I was always willing to face the danger for my man, and I don’t regret it. So ask yourself, Mike. Are you rejecting Arden for his safety, or to protect your own feelings? Because if it’s the former, then you need to leave that choice up to him,” she said in a steely voice, meeting Mike’d gaze head-on.
He stilled, his lungs emptying as he dropped back into the armchair and clutched his knees. How was he to fight an argument like that? Arden had been ready to stay with him. That boy, with his lack of care for what others thought about him, wasn’t afraid of anything. He wasn’t afraid to wear makeup and girly clothing, despite knowing it might draw unwanted attention. And because he loved Mike, he wouldn’t have given up on their relationship because of fear either. Mike had been the one to break their bond, and even though his brain told him it was the right thing to do, maybe Mom was right? Maybe his choices were guided by fear and would only lead to suffering? Since when was he a coward?
“Sorry, Mom.”
Dad exhaled and rubbed her back, his expression grim as he leaned toward Mike. “I know it’s hard. But the truth is people get hurt all the time. You don’t need to be in an MC for that to happen. Remember Giger, my friend from Louisiana? He was such a crazy bastard, doing all those extreme sports, getting into fights. But he got paralyzed in a simple car accident. His own mother was driving them to church. Shit happens, Mike, but we need to live hoping it won’t happen to us.”
Leo let go of Mom’s hand when she sat down, but wouldn’t look up, too focused on his own fingers. “And it goes both ways, Mike. By being with you, Arden is not just willing to live with the risk of being targeted as your partner. You might get hurt, and he’ll fear for you every time you leave on club business. Sure, he can’t ‘protect’ you the way you think you should take care of him, but isn’t that even more frightening in a way? If something happens to you, he won’t be able to do anything, but he’s still willing to take a chance on you. You shouldn’t take that choice away from him.”
It was something Leo knew a lot about since he and his husband were both MC members, and he’d been out of his mind when Zolt had gotten shot that one time. Mike had thought that their situation was different because they both took on the danger equally, but the longer he thought about it, the more he could see truth in what Leo was trying to say. It was as if a door opened in his mind, shedding light on shadowy corners full of dust he should have gotten rid of long ago. Love was all about trust, and if someone chose a partner who did any kind of dangerous work, they needed to believe their loved one wouldn’t take on unnecessary risks.
Leo surely struggled with this every day, but his relationship with Zolt had changed him. He seemed more at ease with himself and just… happier with his life overall.
Could Mike allow himself to have that too? After Leah’s death, he’d promised himself to never fall in love again, but twenty years on, it didn’t feel like he’d gained anything by sticking to that policy. In fact, right now he felt like he’d lost something he could not live without.
He looked at his painted nails, remembering the careful way in which Arden had applied the varnish earlier, even if it was just for fun. Everything was fun with Arden around. The simplest of things gained a deeper meaning when they were together, and Mike felt different at his side. Truly free, because no obligation to Arden ever felt like a chore. Mike wanted Arden. In his life. In his bed. He wanted to be a part of Arden’s life.