Total pages in book: 112
Estimated words: 103637 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 518(@200wpm)___ 415(@250wpm)___ 345(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 103637 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 518(@200wpm)___ 415(@250wpm)___ 345(@300wpm)
Arden took his time rubbing the blood off along with lipstick until barely a hint of the red was left. “That makes two of us, because I’m never having sex again.”
Mike shuddered and closed his eyes, fighting the desire to give in to what he selfishly wanted. To take Arden back. Make him his. Love him. But he’d done enough damage already. “You’ll see. A few months from now, I’ll be only a bump on your road.”
“You won’t be. You don’t understand what I feel,” Arden whimpered and tapped the tissue on his bottom eyelids to spare his makeup.
Mike’s heart tightened, aching as his head became uncomfortably light. “I do. I miss you already.”
“Then why dump me? This ‘safety’ thing is such a cop out. It’s something else about me and you don’t hurt my feelings by saying it. You can’t hurt them any more than you already have.” Arden looked up at Mike, sniffing. More blood dripped from his nose, so Mike held the cigarette in his teeth and quickly rubbed over Arden’s lip with another tissue.
Being close like this, it felt only natural to take care of Arden.
He wanted to take care of him. Always. Every day. And that was precisely why he shouldn’t.
“No. It’s nothing about you. You’re… you’re the most perfect… person I’ve met in a long, long time. But I can’t be with anyone. It’s too risky.”
Arden hesitated, but reached out and squeezed Mike’s hand. “What do you mean? Why not?”
Mike swallowed, his throat so tight he distracted himself by sitting cross-legged and having another hit of the smoke. Everything around them was trembling like muddy swamp water, which could at any point reveal a predator. But Mike took a deep breath and spoke.
“I had a serious girlfriend when I was still a kid. Her name was Leah. We met in school, and she wasn’t really into the biker scene. She just liked me a lot, and we were such a good fit. I was doing motocross at the time, and she always supported me. I was about to go pro. We were just kids but already planning to marry. I felt like she’d be the one for me. That we’d be together forever.”
He had all of Arden’s attention, and the squeeze of the slender fingers was exactly the support Mike needed. He couldn’t recall ever telling this story to anyone. His brothers, his parents, they knew, but he’d never told them. This bit of Mike’s past made everyone uncomfortable, but Arden was there to listen.
“What happened?” Arden asked softly, prompting a shudder to run all over Mike’s insides. He didn’t want to remember it himself, but the dark past he tried to obscure with smiles was always there, traveling wherever he went.
“The club was fighting for turf with another gang at the time. And they… targeted us,” Mike said in a breaking voice. He could no longer look at Arden and focused on the end of the cig instead, silently hoping it would burst into flames and consume him too. “They thought I had information. They hurt her to make me talk. But I really didn’t know, I wasn’t even a prospect yet,” he said, his throat closing as tears slowly dampened his eyes and made him hang his head. “I would have told them everything if I knew. But I didn’t. They killed her, and her only fault was loving me.”
Arden slid off the stool and to kneel in front of Mike. He wrapped his arms around Mike’s waist, and slipped his hand all the way into his hair without a hint of sexual intention. He was just there for Mike despite all the pain he’d gone through himself.
So slim, half Mike’s size, yet when Mike threw away the cigarette and hugged him back, Arden wasn’t the one trembling. He stroked Mike’s back and gave him more solace than he could know. He offered the kind of softness that could cushion the sharp edges of Mike’s heart. The kind of softness a man needed to let go and cry.
“I’m so sorry, Mike.”
Mike’s insides were so sore now he imagined them all bleeding as he leaned into the hug, trying to keep his shit together. It had been years since he’d cried in someone’s arms like this. His granddad’s death. “I joined the club and took my revenge, but it couldn’t bring her back. I can’t go through this again. I can’t put you in danger.”
Arden let out a shivery breath. “I would have taken the risk for you, but I understand. I’m sorry I didn’t want to listen.”
Mike let his body relax into the hug, even though it was yet another dip into the comfort of Arden’s sweet presence. He needed this closeness too much to reject it. “You had no reason to believe me, and I kinda see I made the wrong choice. I should have been more upfront about my intentions.”