Total pages in book: 133
Estimated words: 134598 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 673(@200wpm)___ 538(@250wpm)___ 449(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 134598 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 673(@200wpm)___ 538(@250wpm)___ 449(@300wpm)
She even knew how to calm herself.
But, somehow, that didn’t translate to her actually getting her breathing under control. There had just been too much lately.
The stalker.
Samantha moving in. Coming into her space.
Yelling at her. Hurting her.
Now this.
“Get out, Kevin,” Rhodes said sharply.
Why did his voice sound so far away?
Because you’re panicking. You need to breathe or you’re going to pass out.
That would likely take three to five minutes, right? She could totally get herself under control during that time.
Ethan was saying something, it sounded like he was mad. She didn’t want Ethan to be mad at her.
Then breathe, Cate.
You fucking liability.
Suddenly, she was in the air and cradled against a broad chest before she was settled on the sofa. Large hands took hold of hers.
A sense of safety enveloped her.
“She’s cold. Get her a blanket,” Ethan barked.
Blinking, she realized that it wasn’t Rhodes in front of her, but Ethan.
“Right, listen to me. I need you to take a breath, baby.”
He placed his hand lightly on her chest.
“Cate,” Rhodes called out. “I need you to look around and tell me five things you can see.”
But she couldn’t breathe, let alone talk.
There was a heavy weight on her chest.
Off! I have to get it off!
She scratched at her chest.
“Cate! Listen to me,” Rhodes told her urgently.
No, no, no.
“Cate,” Ethan said in a low, stern voice. His hands squeezed her hands. “Squeeze my hands back. Concentrate, baby girl. Squeeze.”
She forced herself to concentrate and squeezed his hands. It was enough to give her some sense of control. “Good girl, you’re doing so well. Everything is going to be all right. I’ve got you. Rhodes is here too. Nobody is upset at you. Everyone here loves you.”
Loves?
Was that . . . did he mean it?
But he couldn’t. He couldn’t mean it the way she was hoping.
“Take another breath for me, baby. No, listen to me. You’re going to take another breath.” He put her hand on his chest and breathed in. “Just like this. Nice, deep breath in. Now, let it out. That’s it. But I want a deeper one next time.”
She managed to focus on the concern on his face. Rhodes was standing behind him, looking worried and she whimpered.
Was she ruining his life?
“No. Just concentrate on me. No one else. Another breath in. Good girl. You’re doing so well. Daddy’s good girl.”
She could feel herself growing warm. Her cheeks were probably red. But it wasn’t like Rhodes didn’t know about her Little side.
Wait. Where were Kevin and Seth?
“It’s just me and Rhodes here,” Ethan told her. “Seth escorted Kevin out. But even if Seth was here, he wouldn’t mind. He wouldn’t care. All that matters is you.”
Tears dripped down her cheeks. What had she done? Now she’d ruined Rhodes’ relationship with both Samantha and Kevin?
Her breath grew faster again.
“Uh-uh, no panicking,” Ethan warned. “Tell me five things you can see.”
Why?
“Cate,” Ethan spoke in a firm voice that she couldn’t ignore.
“You.”
Her voice was a mere whisper. It sounded breathless.
“Rhoddy.” She glanced up at him quickly. She didn’t want to spend too much time looking at him in case he was angry with her.
She couldn’t stand that.
“What else?”
Cate closed her eyes for a moment. Surely, she could keep her breathing under control herself. But the panic was waiting there for her, like a monster creeping around in the dark, ready to pounce when the lights went out.
“No. Eyes on me, baby.” Ethan lightly grasped hold of her chin.
Cate wanted to point out that if she had her eyes on him, then how could she see other things? But she understood the point of the exercise.
“Sofa. Carpet. Walls.”
“That’s a good girl.”
Endorphins rushed through her, warming her.
Endorphins were good. They were a natural hormone that would alleviate stress, block pain, and increase her sense of wellbeing.
“I’m glad about that, baby,” Ethan said, smiling. “I think you could use all of those things.”
She shot an alarmed look at Ethan, then at Rhodes because she hadn’t meant to say that out loud. What was happening to her?
“It’s all right,” Rhodes soothed. “You’re okay. Four things you can hear.”
The panic attack wasn’t gone. It was still there, making the edges of her vision blur, threatening to drag her back under, into its ugly grasp.
“I can hear you both breathing. I really hope that neither of you are coming down with a cold.”
“We’re both fine, baby,” Ethan reassured her. “Tell me something else you can hear.”
“The clock on the wall ticking. It’s really annoying.”
“I’ll get rid of it,” Rhodes promised her.
“A bird outside. The door just shut. Is that Seth?”
“Yep, it’s me,” Seth said. “I’ll give you all some privacy. Butch will be back soon.”
She wasn’t sure why he said that last part. To warn them? Oh, maybe he thought she wouldn’t want him to see her like this.
That was actually very kind.