Total pages in book: 137
Estimated words: 127213 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 636(@200wpm)___ 509(@250wpm)___ 424(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 127213 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 636(@200wpm)___ 509(@250wpm)___ 424(@300wpm)
“The thing is, my father was not a good man, and I don’t blame my mother for going across the ocean to escape him, but it did leave me, as the older child, to be his new target. I had to grow up fast, and I did. Not only mentally, but physically as well. By the time I was a teenager, I was big, angry, poor, and gay. Not a great mix, but the more violent I got, the more I could see my father back off.”
Frank opened his mouth to continue, but he lost his breath when Ezra placed his hand on his forearm, filling the thin layer of air separating them with fireworks.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
Frank swallowed and slowly entwined their fingers when Ezra didn’t back off. So maybe it was greedy of him to steal touch this way, but he’d enjoy it anyway.
“To amend the being poor part, I got drawn into a gang. Most of the tiger tats on me are from that time. And it wasn’t even a problem for those guys that I was gay. In hindsight, I can see that all they cared about was that I was fearless and had the muscle to back it up. But I felt accepted, I got myself the coolest car I could afford and fucked any pretty boy who wasn’t too afraid of me.”
Ezra shook his head and rubbed Frank’s hand with his thumb, swallowing hard. “You do have the aura of someone dangerous. When I first saw you, I was… worried. It’s one of the hard parts of being an escort. You see many people behind closed doors.”
Frank squeezed his hand tighter. “I’m sorry you felt that way. Is that why you were against bondage? I get it. Why would you trust a big tattooed bastard who didn’t even pay his way.”
Ezra shrugged, shifting closer again, until his knee met Frank’s under the table. “Even the nicest-looking people can do something unpredictable. People who never had to live under one roof with my father would always think he was so polite, and kind. And he can be, when he is in a good mood. I never knew when it would change, and that stuck with me.”
Frank wanted to hug him, close him in a cocoon of safety, because he understood the meaning behind Ezra’s words. Painfully so. “Is that why you’re not in touch with your family?”
Ezra licked his lips. “My parents are both… they’re difficult in their own ways. My dad would come home angry and unload all that on us. Most of the time, he’d just be unpleasant, but it would sometimes get physical. Not in this kind of stereotypically violent way, but he’d slap me if he thought I did something wrong, or push me. Sometimes, I would really not see it coming.
“He did the same thing with Mom, but she doesn’t want to leave him, so I can’t help her. Especially now, after I became an escort. She literally pretended to puke when she found out.” Ezra rolled his shoulders, as if he could no longer stand the tension keeping them rigid. “Even though I feel she set me up for this. She encouraged me to look pretty and find a guy who’d take care of me.”
Frank would take care of Ezra in a heartbeat, but saying so would have made Ezra uncomfortable, so he stayed quiet, itching to kiss away the sadness overshadowing Ezra’s lovely face face.
Ezra licked his lips. “So, I guess what I’m trying to say is that I understand how wanting to leave your home so badly can lead to choices that carry their own weight. And I also loved the money that came without my dad’s strings. Getting to fuck any guy I wanted when I was off the clock, and feeling like no one could tell me what to do. I felt powerful.”
Frank nodded, surprised how similar their situations were in their essence. “I thought I was untouchable. Someone others turned to with problems. Then Paul joined the gang during some trouble we had with the cops, and all hell broke loose. We fooled around a few times but quickly worked out there were better ways for us to connect. He was older than me, vicious, and he impressed me. I wasn’t even twenty when I went on my first job with him, and didn’t really know what it was about until shit hit the fan. We went to retrieve some guns from a guy who stole them, and ended up killing him. It happened so fast it took me hours to truly comprehend that we took someone’s life.”
Ezra let go of Frank to pour them both more booze, but his fingers were right back, squeezing Frank’s like they would before things got complicated. He paled but wouldn’t look away.