Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 83085 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 415(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83085 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 415(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
All I did know was I didn’t want to stop. I wanted this, wanted Griff so damn bad, it was like this deep-seated ache only he could cure.
Fuck, he even had my thoughts all screwed up.
Spin, spin, spin. That’s what my thoughts were doing all night, and now I was heading to Kell’s. The night before Chase had mentioned he worked today, and I knew Kellan was off.
I’d stopped and grabbed us coffee and doughnuts, and a few minutes later I was pulling into his driveway. I needed to do this now, today, before I jumped out of my skin. This was so fucked, and I hoped it wasn’t a mistake, but I couldn’t walk away. Not now.
I killed the engine, grabbed the drink carrier and bag of sugar, and got out. When I knocked I heard Bowie’s deep bark in the background, and then the door opened.
Kellan smiled, his chestnut hair messy and looking sleep-mussed, but I was sure he’d been awake. He was wearing flannel pajama bottoms and a T-shirt. His eyes scanned me up and down, landing on the food, then my face, and his gaze turned serious. “No.” He shook his head, then turned and walked inside.
Damn it. I should have known he would figure it out. “Babe…”
“You’re fucking my brother! I told you I didn’t want you to fuck my brother, Josh, not unless you’re in love with him. I can’t risk losing you, but Griff… You don’t get it. God, out of all the guys you can have, why Griff?”
“Don’t you think he wondered the same thing when Chase started fucking you?”
“That was different. I was in love with Chase. I always had been. Jesus Christ, I can’t believe this. Give me my damn coffee.”
A small smile teased my lips as I handed it over.
“Don’t do that. Don’t smile at me, Joshua Westbrook.” Kellan snatched the lidded cup from my hand.
“The full name, huh? You’re pulling out the big guns.”
He sighed, walked over to the couch, and sat down. I took a step toward him, but he stopped me with, “Bring the doughnuts.” I held back another smile as I carried the bag and my drink over, joining him. Kellan didn’t speak right away. He took a drink, then another. “Everything is going to change now.”
“No, it won’t.”
“Griff is—”
“A grown-ass man,” I cut him off.
“I know that. Don’t you think I know that? I’ve spent my life telling Griff I can handle shit on my own. I’m not one to jump into someone else’s business or try and run their lives for them, but…it’s Griff. And he’s not built like you, Josh. Maybe it makes me a dick to say that, but we both know it’s true.”
We did. He was right. But what he didn’t know was that I wasn’t built this way either. I’d turned this way to protect myself.
“Are you in a relationship with him?” I shook my head. “Serious?” I did it again.
“We’re having fun.” It was the only answer I could give.
Kell looked at me, his brows knitted together. “And Griff wants that? He wants to fuck around with you with no strings?”
Yeah, it sounded crazy to me as well. I couldn’t make sense of it, why Griff would choose me. Still, Kellan’s words stabbed into me over and over. All that was missing was creepy horror-movie sounds in the background. “Do you think I would do it without his consent? Do you really think I would do something I knew would hurt Griffin or make me lose you? If that’s what you think, then you don’t know me as well as I thought.”
“That’s not what I meant, and you know it. Most of the time, people don’t set out to hurt others. It just happens. Intent is rarely part of the equation. I’m just—”
“Looking out for your brother. I get it.”
“If you told me it was serious, I wouldn’t bat an eye. Fuck, I’d be giddy. We’re already like brothers, and I want Griff happy. I don’t think he is. I don’t think he ever has been.”
“I want that too,” I admitted. For the first time in years, I wondered if I was truly happy as well. “Being demi doesn’t mean Griff is in love with everyone he has sex with or enjoys sex with.”
A flash of surprise lit up Kellan’s eyes. “He told you he’s demi?”
Shit. I wasn’t sure if I should have said that or not. Griffin had said Kellan was the one who mentioned the term to him in the first place. “Just know that I’m not stupid, okay? Have a little faith in me, and have some in Griff too. If we’re doing this, it’s because we both want it, and we both know what the score is. We know what we’re doing.” Though I didn’t really know if we knew that or not. I hoped we did. I hoped this wasn’t a mistake. “I promise you I have Griff’s best interests at heart. He’ll come first, babe. Always.”