Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 83085 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 415(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83085 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 415(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
“I don’t know what to say,” Griff admitted. “I’m so damn sorry. I can’t imagine what that had to feel like.”
“I’m sorry too. Sorry for him, and for you. Earlier, I shouldn’t have—”
“I wanted you to kiss me, Josh. Please don’t apologize for that. It’s confusing, and I have a lot to figure out, but I can’t bear for you to apologize for it, even if it doesn’t happen again. It probably shouldn’t happen again.”
My heart started thudding, and I whipped my head toward him. My mouth opened, and the first words that fell out were, “I wanted it too.”
“But it’s…”
“Complicated,” we said in unison.
“Have you ever?” I asked Griff.
“With a guy? No. Not really. There was this one awkward experience over the summer.”
Over the summer? I didn’t expect that.
“I’m sorry about Doug, and sorry for leaving the way I did. There’s just…a lot going on up here.” He tapped his temple. “But me and my shit aren’t important right now. Jesus, man. Thank you for sharing that with me.”
I nodded. “I need you to know, the thing with us, me wanting to kiss you, the only reason I’m not on board with it is because I can’t give you what you deserve. I can’t ever put myself out there again like that.”
“I’m not in love with you, Westbrook.”
“What’s with the last-name thing?”
Griff shrugged. “Don’t know.” He took a deep breath. “Do you want to tell me about him? Doug. You don’t have to, but I figure…well, you’ve never really been able to talk to anyone about him.”
Damned if my hands didn’t start shaking. Fucking Griffin Caine was going to ruin me. I didn’t know how we got there, but I knew it was true. Because I still wanted to kiss him. And talk to him. I wanted to hold him too. “I think I do.”
And then I started talking. A few minutes later Griff reached over and interlaced our fingers. We held hands like that, watching the fire while I talked about Doug. When the flames slowed, Griff got them going again, then held my hand again. Damned if it didn’t feel good.
We stayed up all night and watched the sun rise over the lake. Yeah, Griffin Caine was going to ruin me all right, and I didn’t think there was a damn thing I could do about it.
CHAPTER TEN
Griffin
We went back inside the cabin right after the sun rose. Josh looked exhausted, and honestly, I was too, but I didn’t know that I’d be able to sleep. My thoughts were still too full of everything that happened last night, hell, over the few days we’d been here, or for the past few months, or ever since Kellan and Chase got together. That was when things had begun to change between Josh and me, and now it had transformed into…I didn’t even know what.
All I knew was I didn’t want to lose it.
And maybe I needed it.
“I made dinner last night. It’s in the fridge.” Josh tugged his shirt over his head. I had to force my attention away so I didn’t appreciate the view. The knowledge of that hit me in the chest, the impact starting in one place and spreading out.
“I’m good. We can grab something to eat later. Let’s get a couple of hours of shut-eye first.”
He nodded, pulled off his jeans, and climbed into bed in his boxer briefs.
I stripped down to my briefs, thought about putting on my shorts, but didn’t. I got into bed with Josh. We lay on our sides like we had the last night we slept together, facing each other. It was him who spoke first. “Thank you, for last night. I didn’t know I needed that.”
“Anytime.” I meant it. Being there for him felt different than when I did the same for Kellan or Chase or Remy.
Josh’s hand moved toward me, cupped the side of my face. I closed my eyes when he leaned in, not knowing what to expect or what I wanted, then breathed when his lips pressed to my forehead. He leaned back afterward. His hand slid down to my waist. “This okay?”
“Yeah,” I replied.
He settled in beside me and went to sleep that way. In the grand scheme of things, I told myself it meant nothing. Josh was an affectionate person. He always had been. He hugged, touched, and kissed Kellan all the time, but he’d never done those things with me. Not outside of a couple of playful kisses.
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t keep my eyes closed. They kept opening and looking at him as I thought about what he’d shared with me. I didn’t know why it came as a shock that Josh had been in love. Maybe because I would have thought if he had, it would have been with Kellan, or maybe because he seemed to enjoy being single, the variety of it, so much that I couldn’t imagine him only being with one person. I figured Doug was part of the reason why. Josh enjoyed sex, yeah, but he also made it clear he wasn’t going to open himself up to a relationship again. The thought made me heavy with sadness for him.