Total pages in book: 169
Estimated words: 156945 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 785(@200wpm)___ 628(@250wpm)___ 523(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 156945 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 785(@200wpm)___ 628(@250wpm)___ 523(@300wpm)
Jared sighed and leaned forward to kiss Shadow’s cock. “It’s okay. I still think you’re super-hot. Wanna suck me off and see how things go?”
Shadow did give it a try. He even finished the job, but as nice as Jared was about the whole thing, the act left an unpleasant flavor in Shadow’s mouth. Not only figuratively. Jared’s cum smelled nothing like Gray’s. It looked similar, but the taste was all kinds of wrong, and Shadow spat it out, shuddering and about to heave when some of it inevitably rolled down his throat. His own cock remained completely soft.
Still, he did what humans seemed to do so often, and pretended he was fine. But he wasn’t. Nothing was right, and everything was wrong. They parted with a few more kisses, and promises of ‘next time’, but Shadow was in so much emotional turmoil that he made sure to end their meeting quickly.
At least Gray hadn’t asked him to go and sit at the door so that Gray could use his arm. Feeling the few touches Gray had made to Pete’s body had caused him enough anguish.
In a daze, he stumbled into the blue room where naked human bodies enjoyed the kind of pleasure that would never again be granted to Shadow. He might have accepted a part of Jared into his body, but they didn’t connect. He was all alone.
In the semi-darkness, he found a spot in the corner where he wouldn’t be in anyone’s way, and watched hands grab flesh, body parts slot together like pieces of a puzzle.
On a sofa in the middle, he recognized Nao in a bra that didn’t cover her at all. Rolling her hips on top of Joker, she tossed her long hair over her uncovered breasts, which stirred between the straps of her underwear each time she moved.
Next to them, Blackstar had a woman over her knees and spanked her while exchanging thirsty kisses with Joker. Was this something Shadow should do as well? He didn’t understand it at all. None of those people shared his longing to connect with one person. They rolled together, in waves, as if it didn’t matter whose bits slotted into whose.
Watching them made the taste in Shadow’s mouth more sour.
It was all interesting, even if odd, but the bodies—no matter how attractive—left him cold. In this room full of people twisting with pleasure, he felt deserted, with a stranger’s cum in his stomach, where it didn’t belong.
When a sense of doom settled over his shoulders, he hid his face in his hands, disconnecting from the noise and energy buzzing around him. He could never become one with any of those humans, no matter how hard he tried.
Nothing before had made him feel so desperately lonely.
When a hand squeezed his shoulder, he almost shoved it off but stopped himself when he recognized the touch as Gray’s. Out of nowhere, dark tears clouded his vision, and he rubbed them away.
“Do you need me?” he asked, physically unable to keep the trembling out of his voice, which sat deep in his throat, thick like the cum he could neither fully spit out or successfully swallow. He would do anything for Gray, but offering him the arm so that he could touch Pete with it again? Just thinking about it made Shadow’s heart ache so badly it felt like it was about to break.
Gray lowered himself to one knee, his hand settling on Shadow’s arm gently. In the blue light, his hair turned into iridescent threads that framed the face of the handsome man Shadow knew would never be his. “What are you doing here? Come on.”
Emotion exploded from Shadow’s chest in the form of words. “I’m just trying to learn. I don’t want to go with you. I don’t want to feel you touching him. You will have to do it on your own.” There. He stood his ground. Too bad he finished with a sob.
Gray blinked, leaning closer and pushing hair away from Shadow’s face. Exposed, with his shameful tears for everyone to see, Shadow twisted away, curling up as the emptiness inside him expanded.
Gray’s eyes went slightly wider. “Are you crying?”
Shadow sniffed, but the tears wouldn’t stop dripping down his face like sap from an injured tree. The bodies moving triumphantly around them were pure mockery, rubbing salt into the wound of his inadequacy.
“I’m so unhappy.”
Gray looked around before pulling off his T-shirt and using it to wipe Shadow’s cheeks with gentle pats. The fabric was so nice and soft Shadow couldn’t help but lean into the touch. Even if Gray disregarded his feelings, the need to be close remained overwhelming.
He was cursed.
“Let’s go somewhere else, okay?” Gray asked in the end.
Shadow glanced at the room full of people enjoying themselves and nodded. “I don’t fit in here.”
Gray sighed, slowly rubbing Shadow’s shoulder before rising and pulling on it. “Me neither. Let’s go. We can talk and watch some movies.”