Total pages in book: 117
Estimated words: 113051 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 565(@200wpm)___ 452(@250wpm)___ 377(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 113051 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 565(@200wpm)___ 452(@250wpm)___ 377(@300wpm)
“You had nowhere to go without that scholarship,” Michael says.
Scholarship? Oh yes. That was real. That happened.
“You stayed because you were ambitious,” Everly says proudly. “Because you wanted success above all else. Because you know you are made for great things. Because you proved your worth. That brilliant mind of yours discovered the secret to all of this, after all.”
I stare at her woozily, not understanding.
“It was you who eventually found out the receptors needed for the fungi to grow and create new synapses,” she tells me. “It was you that took this from a groundbreaking cure for inflammation and brain injuries, from Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s, and managed to do something even more profound. You found a way to cheat death.”
I blink at her, the room spinning slightly.
“What do you mean?” I ask, but my words sound funny.
“You’re the one who made the breakthrough, Syd! It took time, but you did it. It was your research and discovery that made it possible for us to kill that mouse, to bring it back to life. And then when we were ready for human testing, well, you’re the one who found us our first patient. We couldn’t have taken that leap without your lapse in morals.”
The world drops out from underneath me. I go still, but the room keeps spinning.
No.
“What?” I whisper, my heart full of lead as memories threaten me.
“A suicide was a happy accident,” Everly says. “Poor Farida just couldn’t stomach the program. But when you suggested we cut open her head and use the mycelia on her, well, we couldn’t refuse. Sure, it didn’t go right the first time. Or the second or the third. But you were very persistent, and eventually, you got it right.” She pauses. “Too bad you never saw that advancement. Because we had to use it on you.”
“No,” I gasp, trying to shield myself from the memories that keep flooding in.
No, I would never.
I would never.
But I remember, I remember.
I remember who I was.
The Sydney of back then.
I remember…
I was the bad guy.
The horror is a blade to my throat.
I’m the villain here.
The mug drops out of my hand, tea splashing on me.
“That wasn’t me. It wasn’t me. I could never…”
“You’d be surprised what humans are capable of when certain parameters are removed, when the rules no longer apply,” Michael says. “It’s part of what makes this field so fascinating.”
I try to move but I slump back into the couch, my limbs growing heavier by the second as I realize what has happened.
The tea.
“You…you drugged me,” I say, dread taking hold.
“Well, we had to, Syd,” Everly says wryly. “We don’t want you fighting back like last time.” She looks up at David. “Call Carvalho and get the OR prepped.”
“I’ll go myself,” David says. “You sure you both can handle her?”
Everly looks back at me and smiles. “Of course. Don’t worry, Syd. Soon, you won’t remember any of this. We’ll rewire you and start again. Do you know how many times we’ve had to stop and start your brain?” She laughs. “No, of course you don’t. That’s the whole point. How many times your mind has died and been brought back, well, I stopped counting. But don’t worry, your body is keeping count.”
Michael smiles at me. “You’re used to it.”
Then David leaves the cabin.
Everything blurs.
And Michael and Everly step closer.
CHAPTER 30
The couch seems to swallow me whole. I open my mouth to speak, to scream, but I can’t utter a word.
What the fuck was in that tea?
My mind feels sharp, at least as sharp as it can be, considering I’m not one hundred percent right in the brain, but I can’t think of a way out of this. I don’t even understand what’s going on.
I don’t want to understand.
All I wanted was the truth, but now I want the truth to stay buried.
Everly sighs and sits down on the couch next to me. “I know you have questions. You said you saw the photos, and they jogged your memory. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that Wes held on to that box. He’s a sentimental one, that boy. Oh, I told him not to. I told him there was a chance that one day you could find it, and then what? How would we explain it?”
“You see, Sydney,” Michael says, sitting on the coffee table. “We had no idea what you would be like this time around. How smart would you be? Would you be the same person? Would the mycelia have changed your personality, the core of who you are?”
“We know it got rid of your ADHD,” Everly says. “At least most of it. That’s why Wes asked you to go off your meds. They would have done you no good, and we had to be sure you were operating unaltered. When the mycelia created new pathways, it started from scratch. We wanted to study you in a live environment; we didn’t want you to remember anything from your days here. We wanted to see if you could, in fact, be the same person again. Nature versus nurture.”