Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 83908 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 420(@200wpm)___ 336(@250wpm)___ 280(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83908 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 420(@200wpm)___ 336(@250wpm)___ 280(@300wpm)
“I’m sorry. I’m so bad at this. I don’t know why I can’t just get over it.”
“I do. You’ve been through something traumatic. Someone you cared about hurt you in the worst way. Of course you’re going to struggle with it. I’m not pushing you to do anything…except meet my parents. I’m afraid they’ll murder me if I don’t make that happen.”
He grins, and it automatically makes me do the same. I love that he’s telling me what I need to hear, but also being Rylan about it, not making it a big deal the way my brain always does with things.
“I wish it were easier for me to chill out.” I shift. “But you’re…kinda the best.”
“Hmm? I didn’t hear you. You’re going to have to say it louder.”
“Not happening.”
“Well, I tried,” he teases back. “This isn’t a normal situation. Just dating a hockey player in general and the media scrutiny that can come with it isn’t normal, and that’s for people who don’t have your past. I understand, and I’m not going anywhere, okay?”
God, I love him—wait. Whoa. What? Do I mean that in the real I’m in love with you way or just the buddy, buddy, man, I love you?
“You look a little green. Are you okay?” Rylan asks as I try not to hyperventilate.
Don’t mind me, just trying to figure out if I’m in love with you. How can I know for sure? How do I know if I’m getting it wrong? I thought I was in love with Malcolm, and I hadn’t been. I tried to tie my life to him, and I’d been wrong. What if I’m wrong with Rylan too? “I’m fine,” I tell him.
“Good. And you can trust Mads. He won’t tell anyone.”
“Do you really want me to meet your parents?” Yet another new experience with Rylan.
“I do, but if you’re not ready—”
“I’ll do it,” I cut him off. I’m scared as shit, but Rylan is being so good to me. He’s trying so hard. I want to do the same with him.
“Okay. When we both get home, then.”
He nods.
I nod.
Then we both laugh.
“How was your day?” Rylan asks.
“Good. My driver on the way to the Rockwell brought up the Malcolm situation. He was trying to be supportive, but…well, you know I’m not the best at socializing. I was all up in my head about it, but then he mentioned how his sister has been through something similar—minus the whole public part—and…” Where am I going with this? Honestly, no idea. “I guess it helped me feel less alone? Not that I want others to have experienced this, but there are a lot of us out there who have. I wonder if they all feel like they did something wrong the way I do.”
I can’t believe I admitted that, but there’s no one I would feel more comfortable sharing it with than Rylan.
“It’s not your fault. It’s easy for me to say and harder for you to believe, and I get that. I understand it, but you didn’t do anything wrong, and I hope you realize how much you’re growing. You would have never admitted that when we first met. This is what life is all about, baby—living, learning, growing. No one has all the answers, even those who sit on the outside and judge. You’re doing your best. Cut yourself some slack, okay?”
His words soothe something inside me. He’s the best thing to ever happen to me, and God, I want to keep him. “Thank you. Wanna talk about tonight? You played a good pucking game.”
He grins like I just gave him the world. Rylan is so easy to make happy. “Did you see when I stripped Wallace of the puck two plays in a row?” He waggles his brows. “I did that for you.”
I laugh, the way only Rylan can make me do. “Of course you did.”
Yep, I totally have a real boyfriend, and I’m gonna do my best to never lose him.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Rylan
I’ve never introduced my parents to someone before—well, not like this, at least. I’m more nervous than I thought I would be, but more than that, I’m excited. This is all new for me, and I’m not good at keeping my feelings to myself. When I think something or experience something, I want to share it with everyone. Well, not to actually share Hayes because he’s all mine, but the truth is, even though I know it’s not the best time for us to publicize anything, I don’t want to keep him a secret. I have a boyfriend, and he’s fucking awesome, and he deserves to be celebrated.
Malcolm didn’t celebrate him, and I don’t ever want to be like that.
Even the situation with Mads the other day. He’s my best friend on the team, and I never even considered keeping it a secret from him, but it clearly made Hayes uncomfortable at first.