Total pages in book: 127
Estimated words: 120708 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 604(@200wpm)___ 483(@250wpm)___ 402(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 120708 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 604(@200wpm)___ 483(@250wpm)___ 402(@300wpm)
I was positive my jaw was on the table. “I’m sorry, what did you just say?”
“Which part?”
“The part about me following my own dreams. What about mom’s wish for me to be a nurse?”
He let out a grim laugh. “It’s pretty obvious, Timberlynn, that it’s not what you want to do. Although, it would have been nice for you to tell me, so you could have gone to school for a business degree instead of nursing.”
I stood and shook my head to clear all the thoughts racing through it. “Wait. I thought you were going to be angry. You were angry.”
He nodded and calmly folded his arms over his chest. “Yes, I was angry. I was angry you left and didn’t tell me. I was hurt as well.”
“Hurt?” I asked.
“Yes, but pretty angry. But not just at you, sweetheart. At myself for not knowing, or seeing, that nursing was not the career you wanted. If I had been paying better attention, that would have been clear to me.”
I was stunned into silence. Then, I frowned. “Did you drink on the ride this morning? How did you sleep? Have you had the water here? I think something might be in it.”
This time my father tossed his head back and let out a roar of laughter. “I’m not drunk, I slept the best I have in years, and I think the mountain air is clearing my head some. Maybe the water too,” he said with a wink. “Timberlynn, honey, I’ve been wanting to talk to you for months now, and I just never knew how to start a conversation or what to say. Less than twenty-four hours with the Shaw family, and I’m confessing things I’ve never shared with anyone, and telling your boyfriend my feelings about your mother’s death.”
Slowly, I sat down as I kept my gaze on him. “Yeah, I think it’s something in the water here. Or it’s their eyes. Have you seen how blue they are?”
He laughed, then reached for my hand. “The first thing I want to say to you is I’m sorry. I’m sorry I missed your birthday. It’s no excuse, but when I realized I had missed it the day after, I was so upset I couldn’t bring myself to call you. I was…embarrassed.”
“Dad—”
“No, let me get this out. I know I wasn’t always there for you, but I’ve always remembered the best day of my life. When you were born.”
Tears built in my eyes and I blinked rapidly to keep them back.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when you were growing up. I was selfish and unsure of so many things, and in a strange way I thought I was doing the right thing for both of us.”
My brows pulled in as I tried to understand his words. “The right thing? What do you mean?”
He took my hand and gently rubbed his thumb over it while he tried to think of his next words. “You don’t know this, but your mother was told she’d never have a child.”
I inhaled sharply. “What?”
He nodded. “We tried to get pregnant almost immediately after we got married. Months turned into a year, then two. They did every test they could, and then determined she wasn’t able to get pregnant. When we ended up getting pregnant with you—” He let out a soft laugh and looked into my eyes. “We had never been so happy, and your mother, God, Timberlynn, it was like her purpose in life was being filled. She was so happy.”
I smiled and let my tears fall freely.
“No, baby girl, don’t cry. Please don’t cry.”
I sniffled and wiped my tears with my free hand, before drawing in a shaky breath. “Don’t stop talking, Dad. Please don’t stop telling me about her.”
He closed his eyes and then opened them. I could see the sadness, and I wasn’t sure if it was from talking about my mother, or simply because this was the first time in years, maybe in forever, that he’d shared anything with me about her.
“I had never seen her so happy. She prayed so hard for you, Timberlynn. Wanted you desperately.” He cleared his voice when it cracked.
“When she died in the accident, I was so angry with God for taking her away from you. Why would He give her this gift, only to take it away? She should have been there to see you grow up. To see all the amazing things you’ve accomplished.”
“Dad, is that why you never remarried?”
He rubbed the back of his neck and then let go of my hand to drag his own down his face. “Hell, Timberlynn. I don’t know how to explain to you how messed up I was after losing your mom. And when I saw someone get too close to you, I’d panic. Yes, I was lonely, but none of those women would ever be able to replace your mother.”