Total pages in book: 158
Estimated words: 156392 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 782(@200wpm)___ 626(@250wpm)___ 521(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 156392 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 782(@200wpm)___ 626(@250wpm)___ 521(@300wpm)
Her life.
“Anyway, got to go. Stay away, Eli. I mean it.” Ariella hangs up. I lie back on the bed and turn off my phone to avoid being bombarded by the outside world.
Dad probably sacked me from the project and downgraded my position as a tactic to force me back to the living world. But I couldn’t care less.
Life was bright for a moment, full of rosy colors and loud chaos, but now it’s back to being bleak, gray, and hauntingly silent.
And I can’t muster the energy to face any of it.
I’ve never wanted something and failed to get it.
Not a single thing.
And now that I’ve lost the one person who added equilibrium to my life, my world is tilting off its axis and creaking under the weight of depressing loneliness.
I can’t trust myself to live without my wife anymore.
She kept some of my darkness at bay by giving me purpose—her. Now that she’s gone, I don’t trust myself not to fuck everything up in a show of epic proportions.
A knock sounds on the door.
“Leave or you’re fired, Sam.” I hyperfixate on the ceiling. “You, too, Henderson.”
“It’s me, honey.” Mum’s soft voice filters through. “Please open the door.”
“I want to be alone,” I grumble. The last thing I want is to hurt Mum, but I’m not in the mood to speak to anyone.
“How dare you turn away your mother, you insolent punk?” Dad’s voice booms on the other side. “Step away, sweetheart.”
Bang!
The door comes undone, literally hanging off its hinges. Dad shoves the thick curtains open and I squint as the strong light nearly blinds me.
I’ve been cooped up in here for far too long.
Sitting up, I release a sigh. “I appreciate the visit, but I still prefer to be alone.”
“You look like a caveman with that unshaven face.” Dad stops in front of me. “And you stink.”
“Thanks for the unconditional support, Dad. Really appreciate it.” I release a long sigh as I continue in a deadpan voice, “I’m just going through an annoyingly peaceful divorce. Nothing to see here.”
“Oh, honey.” Mum sits beside me and strokes my back in soothing circular motions. “You’ve always kept your emotions and thoughts to yourself, but it’s okay to let go sometimes.”
“I’m fine.”
“You’re anything but fine.” Dad sits on my other side. “No need to pretend you’re doing okay after Cole got his wish.”
“It’s her wish, too.” The words are exceptionally hard to spit out. “She wanted the divorce enough to put her life on the line for it.”
Mum continues caressing my back softly. “I’m so sorry. No one deserves to go through that.”
“I do. I lied to her, knowing full well the consequences wouldn’t be pretty once she found out. And I was proven right, yet again.”
“You did what you thought was best for the both of you.” Dad squeezes my knee. “There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that and you’ll not blame yourself for choosing to save your marriage. Blame Cole. That motherfucker should be blamed for half of the world’s problems. The other half are on Ronan.”
I smile despite myself.
From all the things Dad taught me, being unapologetic was always at the top of the list.
I also know how protective he is of his family, which is why I hid the fact that Ava stabbed me from my parents. I refused to muddy the relationship between Mum and Ava or, worse, have my dad put her on his shit list for daring to harm his son.
Mum would’ve understood that Ava wasn’t in her right mind, but he probably wouldn’t have.
Not that it makes any difference now.
“Her father will admit her to the mental facility, where she might spend the rest of her life,” I speak in a low tone. “The one thing I fought against is happening and I have no power to stop it, and even if I were to come up with a plan to, I could destroy her for good.”
“This might not be for the worse, you know,” Mum starts. “Remember when I often asked you to follow the therapists’ suggestions? Well, that’s because I experienced what it was like to live with someone like Ava.”
My head tilts in her direction. “You…did?”
“Yes. When I was much younger.”
“Sweetheart…” Dad says in a soft voice.
“It’s okay.” She smiles, but a wave of sadness saturates her voice. “I think he’s old enough to know. You see, my mother was also mentally unstable, and unlike Ava, who went through rare episodes, my mother’s episodes were much more frequent and violent. Dad was advised to admit her to the hospital, but he felt sorry for her and got her out almost immediately. That was a huge mistake. Not only did she hurt me, your father, several other children, and your grandfather, but she also hurt herself. I loved her so much, but at some point, that love was overshadowed by fear. If I could go back in time, I’d beg Dad to lock her up. For everyone’s sake. I’m not saying Ava is the same—God no, that girl is so self-aware, it’s heartwarming. She called to say she wanted to do this for herself and everyone around her. You know how proud she is, how she hates it when people babysit her. Before any of this happened, she was singing your praises because you treat her like she’s normal. I know you can be as rigid in your ways as your father, but this time, maybe you need to bend slightly so you don’t break.”