Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 84227 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84227 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
I didn’t know what made me want to do it. Maybe it went back to what I’d been thinking earlier, about Kellan being different and having the ability to pull secrets out of me without trying, but as I set the foil packages on the grill, I found myself asking, “Can I tell you something?”
“Yeah. Of course.”
“I knew I was going into the Marines before we…”
“Fucked around. You can say it, Chase. As far as I know, Griff isn’t waiting in the woods to pounce.”
But I didn’t really feel like we’d fucked around. I felt like I’d taken advantage of him, and that was something I wasn’t sure I could ever forgive myself for. That piece of information I kept to myself, though. “I’d already known I was going into the Marines before we fucked around. I didn’t tell you because…” Why hadn’t I told him? Griff had known. It wasn’t a secret, but I hadn’t told Kellan.
“Because you knew I’d be devastated. Come on, Chase, we both know that’s why. You had to have known I had the world’s biggest crush on you. And I was dramatic, so obviously I would have thought my world was ending.”
That made me turn around to look at him. Fuck, Kellan was brave. Did he know how courageous he was? We’d always made it our job to try and protect him, but sometimes I wondered if Kellan was the strongest of us all. He hadn’t wanted Griff to come home for him, and he wouldn’t have wanted me to try and take care of him either. He’d been brave as shit when he’d kissed me, and what he dealt with from that guy in Richmond. Yeah, Kell didn’t need any of us to take care of him.
And honestly, as I stood there looking at him, I knew why I hadn’t told him about the Marines. Because I had known it would hurt him, that he would have been sad. I knew that if I had seen it, Kellan’s pain over me leaving, I likely wouldn’t have gone. He just…got to me that way, and seeing his sorrow always made me go into fixer mode. I’d always wanted to make it better.
What I said, though, was, “You might have been a little dramatic.” I cocked a grin, trying to keep things light.
“Dude, you were the star player in my jack-off fantasies. Most kids grow up and dream about marrying their favorite movie star. I was going to score Chase Hawthorne. The dramatics were very well called for.”
And, holy fuck. There went my dick. The thought of Kellan jerking it while thinking of me made all sorts of wires cross—not young Kellan, of course, but this one. It was crazy really, that he had looked at me back then and seen something special. I sure as shit had never felt it.
“Be good,” I told him, and then I fucking winked. I was playing a dangerous game, but I couldn’t find it in myself to stop.
“I’m always good, baby,” he said with this sexy, flirtatious confidence in his voice, and fuck, my cock was really in the game now, swelled and aching.
“We’re getting offtrack here.” I fought to keep my thoughts off how good Kellan would be and on the topic at hand. “You want to know why I wanted to be a cop?”
He set his beer on the patio table and leaned forward, a little wrinkle between his brows as he concentrated on me. “Yeah.”
“Because of your parents. What happened to them that night, and the fact that it was never solved. I couldn’t fucking deal with that shit, ya know? I want to protect people the way your parents should have been protected.”
Kellan stood there for a moment, looking at me, those eyes of his studying me and penetrating all my defenses. “Holy shit, Chase. That’s…” Then he walked over to me, and I held my breath like a scared virgin, as if I hadn’t shared my bed with countless men and women over the years. This wasn’t the same, though, and it wasn’t about sex, despite my dick being hard enough to pound nails. I was horny, but there was emotion behind it, because Kellan had always meant something to me. And that was new for me.
He put his hands on my hips and dropped his forehead against mine. “Thank you for telling me that. I know you’re not good with stuff like that, and…wow, Chase. You really went into law enforcement for my parents?”
“Yeah,” I admitted, my voice rough.
“You forget about yourself too…to protect people like you should have been protected.”
I knew he meant my dad, and I sure as shit didn’t want to go there. Things sucked with him, but they could have been worse. “Nah, I was fine.”
“You shouldn’t have had to be fine. You should have been happy.”