Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 84227 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84227 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
“What? No, not like that. Christ, Twerp—I mean, Kellan. I meant I told him. We didn’t…” He shook his head. “Griff is my best friend. My brother.”
And I’d been nothing more than head from his other brother, apparently.
“I told him I’m bi when I came back. I thought he should know, and do you want to know the first thing he said to me?”
No, no I didn’t. “Nah, I’m good. Thanks.”
Chase shook his head as though he didn’t know what to do with me, and spoke anyway. “He said to keep my dick away from you. Do you know what it would do to him if he found out about our slip-up?”
Slip-up? Slip-up? I picked up a couch pillow and chucked it at him, which Chase easily caught.
“Still impulsive, I see.”
“Still an asshole, I see. You don’t get to come here and judge me. You don’t know me anymore. You came in my mouth and then bailed. A lot can change in ten years.”
His jaw tightened, and I could have sworn I heard his teeth grinding. Chase was pissed, and good for him, because I was fucking pissed too.
“I know you’re still getting yourself into messes Griff has to fix.” The moment the words came out of his mouth, I flinched, and he quietly cursed, dropping his head back. “Shit. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“He told you?” I spit out. My whole world was spinning. My knees were weak, and I was surprised I could still hold myself up. I couldn’t believe Griff had told him.
“Kell…I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”
“No, it’s my turn, Chase. I’ve waited ten years. I think I should get to speak first.”
I was surprised when he simply nodded.
“I don’t ask Griff to fix anything for me. Am I perfect? No. But I don’t ask for anything from him. And that was a long time ago. I might have been a stupid, brokenhearted kid after you left, and I ended up in a bad situation, but that was ten fucking years ago and fuck you for throwing it in my face.”
“Wait. What are—”
“I’m not done yet. Who the fuck are you? The Chase Hawthorne I knew never would have used that night against me. I might have been young and stupid, but I was assaulted, and it wasn’t my fault.” I’d blamed myself for years after that night, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to let anyone else blame me now.
“Assaulted? What the fuck are you talking about?” Chase’s face was red, his hands fisted, his pupils blown wide.
Oops. I might have misjudged the situation. “You said…” He’d said Griff told him.
“Griff told me about the catfishing. He never said anything about… Fuck, Kell. What happened to you?”
Chase rubbed a hand over his face, and it was shaking, fuck, the thing was shaking. He sat on the couch, his leg bouncing up and down, and I knew he was torturing himself, that his thoughts were worse than what I would have to tell him, and as much as I wanted to force him to leave, I couldn’t put him through that either.
“I mean, you don’t have to tell me. You have that right, but…” He looked up at me like a wounded dog, looked at me the way he used to look at everyone before Griff took him in—broken and scared.
“I, um, fucked up.” I sat down on the couch beside him. “No, it wasn’t me. I didn’t do anything wrong, but after you left, I was angry and hurt. I didn’t want to be a kid, ya know? I didn’t want to be that little brother Griff had to protect or the one who sent you running. I wanted to prove I could do what I wanted and didn’t need either of you.”
The room was so quiet, I didn’t think Chase was breathing.
I took a few steadying breaths myself and continued. “I went into Richmond and met this guy. He bought me alcohol and brought me back to his place. It was stupid. I thought he liked me. How could he like me when he didn’t even know me? But when he started kissing me, it felt good. I felt desired, so I let it keep going.” It’d been so foreign to me—being wanted. Chase hadn’t wanted me. I hadn’t had many friends. God, I’d been so dumb. “He had more in mind than I did. I got scared, told him no. He kept pushing, trying to force me. I nearly ripped his dick off, and he hit me, and I ran. I went to Griff. We reported it. The guy got in trouble, and that was the end of it.” Well, mostly. It took longer to work through mentally than I wanted Chase to know about.
“Why didn’t he tell me?” Chase’s whole body was rigid. His hands were fisted so tightly, I knew his nails had to be digging into his palms.