Total pages in book: 144
Estimated words: 133531 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 668(@200wpm)___ 534(@250wpm)___ 445(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 133531 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 668(@200wpm)___ 534(@250wpm)___ 445(@300wpm)
Lydia clung to her for a brief minute. “He is, isn’t he?”
Rory tightened her hold. “I was very proud of you tonight. You were awesome.”
“I’m a good bartender.”
“Yes, you are.” Rory let her go to hand her over to the detective. “She got the job.”
Larrsen smiled down at Lydia. “There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that you would. Congratulations. We’ll have to celebrate.”
Lydia smiled up at him and took the hand he offered her. “I’ll see you back at the apartment,” Lydia said to Rory.
Rory watched her friend walk away, Lydia’s body very close to the detective. Larrsen’s posture was very protective, bringing an ache to Rory’s heart. She pressed a fist to her chest. She wanted that for Lydia. She also wanted that for herself. She was probably making the biggest mistake of her life meeting Gideon. She’d reached out to him in a moment of weakness. The entire day had been one long moment of weakness.
Gideon’s hand brushed lightly down the back of her hair and then settled on the small of her back. “How is she?”
“She’s strong. She was absolutely magnificent tonight. I asked Brad to give her a chance when she had no experience. He did it for me, but he didn’t want to. We both knew we’d get slammed tonight.” She didn’t look up at him. She couldn’t. Not yet.
His hand felt like a hot brand on her back, urging her forward. She took that first step toward the path that was familiar, the one leading to the gardens on the other side of her apartments, where the secluded covered patio was. She thought of it as their place. She’d never once gone there during the day, and she knew she never would without him.
“She didn’t let me down. She worked hard and she knew everything. She’d studied and practiced at home so much, it was like she’d been bartending for years. She didn’t let anything throw her, not even when she was told about her apartment.”
“You admire her.”
“So do you.” That was one of the things she’d noticed about him right away. He was obviously extremely intelligent and had money, yet he never seemed to look down on anyone. He paid attention to the waiters and waitresses, addressing them by name. He thanked them and tipped them well.
He didn’t answer. He never did if she gave him a compliment. That was another thing she’d noticed about him. He was quiet whenever she said anything nice about him.
“Gideon, do you like who you are?” She didn’t look up at him but kept walking along the little path, the shortcut between the buildings she hadn’t known was there until Gideon had shown it to her.
He remained silent for several steps as they walked together. “Like who I am?” he finally echoed. “That’s an interesting question. I guess I never really thought about it. I like what I do for our country. For others.”
His answer bothered her. Really bothered her. There was a heaviness in him that she’d felt from the beginning. The more time she spent with him, connected mind to mind, the more she was able to sense that burden he bore.
“That’s not the same thing, Gideon. I’m asking about you. The man you are. I like me as a person. Do you like you?”
She had the impression that the burden he carried made him feel unworthy of happiness. Of a good life. He had stepped in front of Javier and taken the bullets that would have ended Javier’s life. Gideon had done so deliberately, knowing he would die. Javier had said it wasn’t the first time. More than once now, she caught glimpses of darker shadows in Gideon that made her afraid for him. She’d lashed out at Javier for continually reminding Gideon of his wounds, but it wasn’t only Javier. She was just as guilty. She knew Javier wasn’t the only one. His team members were all concerned for him. Was that concern because, like her, they sensed Gideon just didn’t care enough about his own life?
Rory found herself working to control the sudden rapid beating of her heart. Gideon was a good man whether he thought so or not. Why didn’t he see that?
“I promised myself I’d be honest with you, Red.” There was reluctance in his voice. “So, no, I don’t think much of myself, especially after what I did to you.”
“I’ve had time to think things through. If you believed I was a threat to a baby, you would have had to take steps to protect the child. Maybe you didn’t protect me, but you did the child when you couldn’t do both. You knowingly sacrificed your own happiness to ensure the baby’s safety, and there’s something beautiful and noble in that.”
“I hurt you.”
There was no denying that fact. No getting around it. “Yes, you did. That doesn’t make you a bad person, Gideon. I don’t think hurting me was where you started thinking you were a bad person.”