Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 85224 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85224 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
Like a lifetime ago.
Like a different person that walked these floors.
I keep my head down and aim straight for the back office, hoping to find Lachlan. But what I find is more. More than I am ready for. But something I can no longer avoid.
Mack is with him. And she is pregnant.
When she sees me, she nearly collapses from the shock.
I can only imagine what I must look like right now. After hours of walking in the brush. My arms and legs are scratched, and I am bleeding from a cut on my leg still.
I can’t find the words to tell them what happened yet. So I say the only thing I can.
“Get me out of here.”
They took me to a safe house. One of their own, which Lachlan assured me that nobody else is aware of. It is small, but safe. And lonely, even sitting here with my oldest friend.
I am showered and dressed in fresh clothes, the cut on my leg stitched and cleaned.
And Mack is staring at me. Waiting for an explanation.
We are in the kitchen, sitting at the table. Things have never been so tense between us, and I can barely bring myself to look at her.
“Have you heard anything?” I ask Lachlan.
“I’ve spoken to Viktor,” he answers. “Alexei is fine. They are returning from Bulgaria today. He does not know anything yet, and I did not mention it.”
“And Magda?” I ask.
“She is fine also.”
I tap my fingers against the wood of the kitchen table as silence descends over us. I don’t know what else to do. What else to say.
“Viktor thinks you are dead,” Lachlan tells me. “He will tell Alexei soon.”
My throat feels like it’s closing in on me. There are tears in my eyes when I look at Lachlan.
“Is that what you want?” he asks.
“I don’t know,” I release a shaky sob. “I don’t know what I want. I need to think.”
Lachlan sighs and looks to Mack. Who is still staring at me like she doesn’t know me. And she’s right. I’m a completely different person than I was before. And I can see that even though she knows better than to say anything right now, the betrayal is there in her eyes.
She keeps glancing at my pregnant belly, silently judging me.
I hate this. I hate how stilted everything is between us. But I can’t deal with that right now. I can only focus on the seconds. The minutes. Think of what I need to do. Of what’s best for me and my baby. I don’t want to leave Alexei.
I love him. I love him so much.
But I can’t return to that house. Be a prisoner on the third floor. I can’t live like that. With his coldness. His distance. He made me feel just so that he could destroy me all over again. He promised to protect me. But there is no protecting me from himself. From the fears that rule his life and his beliefs. He doesn’t trust me.
He doesn’t love me.
“Alexei is a mate and an ally,” Lachlan informs me. “And he has been good to me. But you are Mack’s mate. And Mack is my wife. So I’m telling you now. This is your chance to get out of this situation if you want it. Probably the only chance you are ever going to get.”
I nod, because I know he’s right. But I can’t stop crying. It’s freaking Mack out. Because I never cried before. But now, I’m a mess.
Just as she always said I was. And I always tried to prove so hard that I wasn’t.
I don’t care anymore. I don’t care if she thinks me weak. My heart is broken. Destroyed. And I have to make a life altering decision. One that will hurt us both, no matter what I decide. I don’t want Alexei to think I’m dead, but I know Lachlan is right. He won’t let me go any other way.
This isn’t what I wanted.
At all.
But this is my reality. And I need to think of what’s best for me. For once in my life. And for the baby. Which deserves to have his father in his life. Alexei would be a good father.
But if he knew, then that would mean sacrificing myself. The rest of my life living with a man who hates me.
“I can’t win,” I tell them both. “No matter what I decide, I can’t win.”
“Then you never should have married him,” Mack replies.
I look up at her, and so does Lachlan. Her voice is cold. Angry. Bitter.
“You should have come to me.”
“You wouldn’t have understood,” I tell her. “And you can’t fix everything for me, Mack. You can’t fix me.”
“Those are just the same old excuses, Tal. Complete bullshit.”
“Mack,” Lachlan’s voice is warm and soft when he speaks with her. Filled with real love. It chokes me up even more. “Now is not the time.”