Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 82767 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 414(@200wpm)___ 331(@250wpm)___ 276(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82767 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 414(@200wpm)___ 331(@250wpm)___ 276(@300wpm)
I envied Mick his happiness with his life, his sense of accomplishment. Even when things went well at Clover House, I didn’t have that. It would have been so much easier if I had simply hated the company and hated the job, but the truth was I didn’t. I actually found the business interesting; I liked some of the work we did. I could think of plenty of different places that I would like to take it, if I had more freedom with the creative direction of the company. However, I was under the scrutiny of Sean, and his motive was always financial. Under his leadership, the company made money. It made more money that it ever had, and the shareholders were delighted. But that was all it did, and all it aimed to do.
When I had wanted to develop apps that would have some kind of benefit for people beyond keeping them distracted on the train, I had been laughed out of the boardroom. The thought of Sean made my temper rise. I had purposely not seen or spoken to him since I’d discovered him at Lucy’s place. I was ashamed that I hadn’t felt more deeply about the loss of my relationship with Lucy. My prevailing feeling was anger, but not even with her. We were never committed; she never gave me any indication that she took us seriously, and neither did I. I was angry that Sean could do that to me. And yet it confirmed what I had felt for a long time, that the distance between us had become something bigger, something more sinister than just brotherly rivalry or resentment.
I sat up. If I were so dissatisfied with my life, then why was I constantly letting myself be distracted from the decisions that could change it? I couldn’t possibly make a change because I had to have meaningless sex with Lucy, or a pointless war of words with Sean, or whatever the fuck was going on with Effie. There was always work to do, a new gadget to buy, a motorcycle upgrade to pursue, a bottle of whiskey to finish. Enough. I reached for my laptop where it sat on the side table, opened it up, took a deep breath and prayed for decent hotel Wi-Fi and then began to compose an email to Chris. I kept it short and sweet, knowing him to be a man of few words. Everything that needed to be said had been said already. He knew what to do, and I trusted him.
Chris,
Apologies for the delay in getting back to you. I had some things to sort out before I could fully commit, but I’m on board and I want to get started. I will start to set things up at this end tomorrow, and when I am back in the country, I will get the paperwork to you. Like you said, let’s keep everything as simple as possible. And again, your absolute discretion is much appreciated.
Sincerely,
Keegan
I hit send and fought the wave of nervous energy. It was done; it had been inevitable. I was never going to sit back and follow my orders to the letter. Nobody would ever know, and I could still stick with Clover House until I hit thirty-five as I was expected to do. But I had the security of a back-up plan, a plan B that would offer me an escape if I needed it.
I got up and started to undress, pulling my clothes off, stretching, and washing my face at the bathroom sink. I looked in the mirror, at the dark circles under my eyes and the stubble on my chin, then dried my face and went back into the bedroom. On a whim, I ran and leapt onto the bed, landing sprawled out like I would have done as a child. The sheer ridiculousness of it made me laugh out loud. I rolled onto my back, looking up at the intricate light fitting hanging above me, and thought about how in one day, I had broken three of the rules I had set myself. First, not to do anything to jeopardize my position in the company business or earn my parents’ disappointment again. Second, not to let anyone get close. Third, not to get romantically involved with an employee. Out of those three rules, the most surprising was the last one. Because up until a few moments ago, I hadn’t even admitted to myself that it was happening.
Chapter 29
FREYA
WHEN I WOKE the next morning, I was thankful that I had removed all traces of makeup and drank three and a half bottles of incredibly expensive mineral water. I had even set my alarm early so that I could have a long shower and a proper breakfast before I had to turn up to work. I ate fresh fruit and croissants in my room, preferring not to have the awkwardness of a meal with Keegan. I was dreading seeing him. I didn’t know how to play it. I couldn’t go back to my Effie Hancock alter-ego now. Not after the previous night. It would have been awkward enough to go back to our formal footing after we had been practically tearing each other’s clothes off, but to go back to it after we had sat quietly together and he had confided in me with his painful history would have been cold on another level. If I were being honest with myself, which I wasn’t, I couldn’t face going back to being Effie Hancock.