Total pages in book: 73
Estimated words: 68987 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 345(@200wpm)___ 276(@250wpm)___ 230(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 68987 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 345(@200wpm)___ 276(@250wpm)___ 230(@300wpm)
“Okay, okay, pictures!” Jolene finally asserted with a clap of her hands. She turned to me, pinning me with her gaze. “You go get that drop-dead gorgeous boyfriend of yours. I don’t care if he’s talking to the President right now, I want him in my pictures, darlin’.”
I didn’t have the heart to tell her that Jax wasn’t really my boyfriend, and it was clear Shawn and Nathan had never let her in on that secret, either. And I certainly didn’t have the balls to tell her that even our fake relationship was likely going to be ending tonight. Way too soon.
But it was pretty impossible to say no to Jolene Wood. A moment later, I headed off toward the other side of the room, looking around for Jax. It took me a moment to locate him, but I found him standing next to a young, very handsome guy that was probably around his age. As I walked up, I overheard the tail-end of their conversation, and realized that the other guy was giving Jax his phone number.
Something tight coiled around my heart.
That’s reality, I told myself silently. Of course people are going to want him. Men, women, anybody.
I cleared my throat as I walked closer to them. “Jax,” I said.
“Hi,” he said as he turned, and I saw the same bittersweet longing in his eyes that I’d seen all evening.
He politely ended his conversation with the other guy and after the stranger had walked off, it was just me and Jax for a moment. My blood pressure already felt twice as high, expecting him to break things off with me at any moment.
“Charlie, I—”
“Jolene wants to take some photos with us,” I blurted out.
Jax nodded. “Right, right. We can do that. But I just need a minute to talk with you.”
It was going to happen. I couldn’t avoid it any longer. He looked more handsome than ever right now. It caused a deep ache in my soul, one that I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to get rid of.
I felt like I was trying to grasp onto something precious. Something that was disappearing, right in front of my eyes.
I wanted him so damn badly.
I’d done everything wrong, I started to realize, in that moment. I’d tried to keep my distance from him, and I’d done anything but. I’d tried to protect myself by constantly reminding myself that the relationship wasn’t real, but this was Jax.
There was no chance in a thousand lives that I’d ever have been able to resist him. I couldn’t avoid heartbreak now, because my heart was essentially already broken.
My eyes darted nervously back toward Jolene and the big Wood family. “You know how Momma Jo is,” I told Jax. “She’s going to murder us if we don’t get over there soon. We’ll have time afterward to talk.”
I was already walking off, back toward the bar, rushing past table after table of fans who smiled up at me.
“Charlie,” Jax called out from behind me, clearly sick of my shit. But I couldn’t stop.
I went back over to the bar, tucking behind the big group of people as they were deep in some animated conversation. and leaned over across its gleaming surface, staring at the racks and racks of backlit bottles of liquor. I realized with a stunning, crystal-clear certainty, just then, that for the first time ever, I wasn’t fantasizing about having a strong drink even though I was all fucked up in the head right now.
I didn’t want a goddamn drop. Not like I used to.
I just fucking wanted something real.
“Charlie,” Jax said from behind me, and I heard the frustration in his voice.
“I know,” I said softly as he came up beside me at the bar. We were in our own little bubble, as everyone behind us was lost in their own revelry, not paying attention to us for this brief moment.
“Quit acting scared,” Jax said, even though there was a slight waver in his voice and I knew he was a little bit scared, too. “Quit avoiding me. I know you’re thinking the same thing as I am.”
“I know,” I said, my voice weak. I stared at a gold-rimmed coaster on the bar, coated with condensation.
He reached out to hold my hand, and the small, sweet gesture crushed me from the inside.
“Look at me,” he said.
I summoned the willpower to look into his eyes. Gorgeous. Kind. Feeling like home, just like they always did. This person I probably never deserved, but somehow had been able to pretend. And it had changed my life.
“I didn’t want the TV show to end,” I said plainly. “And I don’t want this to end, either. I don’t fucking want any of it to end.”
“You do feel the same,” Jax said, and as a smile spread over his face, confusion landed on me again.