Total pages in book: 73
Estimated words: 68987 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 345(@200wpm)___ 276(@250wpm)___ 230(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 68987 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 345(@200wpm)___ 276(@250wpm)___ 230(@300wpm)
But I wasn’t going to do that. I was being good. I didn’t have to be wasted to enjoy myself.
“Sure. Let’s give it a shot,” I said, throwing my hands up.
We waited in line, watching the people at the stall pulverize fresh apples for each order. We got our fizzy apple ginger drinks, which came in plastic cups with straws printed with little autumn leaves. I took a sip, the spiced drink hitting my tongue.
Jax threw his head back. “What the fuck? That is so good.”
“I was expecting just regular old fizzy apple cider, but this is next-level.”
He was somehow managing to make six-foot-two and buff as hell look adorable, again, as he sipped out of his straw and let his eyes flutter shut in pleasure. I got distracted for a moment by his lips, deeply ruddy and plush, as he licked them after a long sip.
A group of people walked by with a stroller, and Jax gently put his hand to the top of my back to alert me, moving me to the side a little.
My cock twitched at his touch. Pointless, but I couldn’t help it. I was pretty sure Jax could get me hard just from tapping me on the shoulder, so it wasn’t exactly a huge surprise that having his warm hand at my back was enough to provoke a response in me.
When he met my eyes again, I only felt a little guilty.
“So, tell me,” he said, “what would you do differently if you were totally fucking smashed right now?”
The question caught me by surprise. “You want me to imagine what I’d do if I were drunk?”
He nodded, leaning against a tree trunk in between two stalls. Little string lights illuminated the air around him, making his eyes sparkle in the warm glow. “Bingo. If you were balls-to-the-wall, full-on plastered, what would you be doing differently?”
I puffed out a nervous laugh, taking a sip of my fizzy drink. “Okay, Mr. Therapist.”
“Just doing what I do best.”
“Aren’t you supposed to be making me not think of drinking?”
He shook his head, his sleepy eyes on mine. “Hell, no. That’s not how we do it around here. No denial, no pushing things away.”
I groaned. “But that’s what I’m best at.”
“I know,” he said. “And I’m not letting you.”
I sighed. Jax and I had built up enough trust that he was able to put me on the spot like this, knowing that it all came from a place of tender affection and friendship.
“You want to know what I’d do if I were drunk, huh?”
He gave a gentle nod. “I want to know what it was about being drunk that made you feel alive.”
I watched his eyes, his lips, his perfectly tanned, radiant face. “Well, for starters, if I were drunk right now, I’d have the confidence to tell you how fucking gorgeous you look tonight.”
I swore I could see the ruddy hint of a blush on his cheeks even in the dim light. “Doesn’t count. You already told me I look good tonight. I’m flattered, but you can go deeper.”
I chewed on my lip, looking all around the festival. “I don’t know. Being drunk quieted my mind, I guess. Made me stop overthinking every little fucking thing.”
Jax listened to every word like it meant a lot to him, and if it was just him putting on his therapist hat, he sure as shit was good at it.
“What kinds of things do you overthink?”
“What don’t I overthink?” I joked. “Tonight, all I could think about as I walked into this place was that I might see Jim and start spiraling. I thought that I was going to run into too many people here who I’d once hopelessly fallen for, and who now have big, full lives without me.”
Jax shrugged one shoulder. “What’s so bad about that?”
I looked at him like he was nuts. “It’s fucking humiliating. Seeing a guy I got down on my knees for and blew in an alleyway walking around happily with his wife and kids? It’s torture.”
“But look at how much has changed for you in the last few years,” Jax offered.
I puffed out a laugh. “What? Single, with no prospects, and nothing to show for it?”
He waved me off. “You’re a successful contractor who is now famous for appearing on a TV show. And you’re literally the reason the Fixer Brothers are getting to film your own TV show. You have fans. Lots of them. By many measures, you’re one of the most successful people in Jade River.”
I met his eyes. “Okay, there’s another thing I’d do if I were drunk.”
“Tell me.”
“I’d ask if I could kiss you for being so damn nice to me.”
Jax was definitely blushing now. In fact, he looked like I’d just sent an incoming missile his way.
I wondered if I’d freaked him out with my comment, going over the line like I always did. Regret was already starting to eat away at me, and I hadn’t even had a drink.