Total pages in book: 64
Estimated words: 61100 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 306(@200wpm)___ 244(@250wpm)___ 204(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 61100 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 306(@200wpm)___ 244(@250wpm)___ 204(@300wpm)
Mom. Conveniently, I haven’t let myself think too much about how Mom would have reacted to my seeing the four tattoo artists. I like to think that she’d trust me and support my decisions … but maybe not. She didn’t have the best outlook on men, from what I recall. Not with the way our father left.
“They’re really good men,” I tell Patrick. “If you actually knew them—if you gave them a chance—you’d know that. They served our country in the military, they help other people in the community, and they treat me really well.”
Instead of being swayed by any of this, my brother looks disappointed in me. “Of course they treat you well, Rose. That’s what men do when they want sex from you.”
His words stab me right in the center of my chest. Is it true? Is that all they want?
No, I don’t believe it. “You’re judging them by their appearances. You’re making all kinds of assumptions about things you know nothing about.”
“I do know, Rose, and it’s not just appearances. What about their age? They’re obviously much older than you—older than me even, from the looks of them—and they’re at a completely different stage of life. If they haven’t been interested in getting into a serious relationship with other women by now, what makes you think they want something serious with you?”
I open my mouth to protest, but he cuts me off. “For god’s sake, Rose, open your eyes! You’re making a fool of yourself, and you’re headed for serious trouble.”
“You don’t know that, Patrick. You don’t know them, and you don’t even know me!”
I’m on the verge of tears, but I channel my frustration and fear into that one angry outburst, and then I take a deep breath and lower my tone. “I appreciate your care and concern, I really do. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me over the years, but I’m not an idiot. I’m aware that heartbreak is a possibility. My eyes are wide open, and I believe it’s worth risking my heart for people who are worth it.”
He stares back at me for the good part of a minute, and I think I’ve won some points, but when he finally speaks, he says, “I think you should keep living here for a while. It’s probably early enough that we can cancel the rental agreement.”
“I’m not going to be canceling the rental agreement. I’m moving out tomorrow as planned. Would you still like to help me move, or should I ask someone else?”
An image of Hutch, Zipper, Mace, and Christian marching in here and carrying out my bedroom furniture under Patrick’s protests makes me grimace. Right now, Patrick’s eyes are wide with surprise at the fact that I’m standing up to him, and I’m surprised, too.
I knew I felt strongly about the men, but I didn’t know how strong my feelings actually were until I was pushed. It’s clear to me now that I’m way past the point of protecting my heart, and I’m oddly okay with that.
“I’ll help you move,” Patrick mutters.
“Everything will be okay,” I tell him. “You’ve always looked out for me, but I’m older now, and I’ll be fine making my own decisions.”
36
ROSE
At first, things are strained between Patrick and me the next day. He doesn’t say anything more about the four men, but I can tell that our argument is still on his mind.
He doesn’t say anything that isn’t strictly necessary as we load my belongings onto a truck he borrowed from a friend, but by the time we’re almost finished unloading boxes at my new apartment, his mood starts to soften. Maybe that’s because my happy mood is contagious.
The new apartment is wonderful. It’s not very big, and there’s nothing luxurious about it, but it’s clean and freshly painted, and it’s mine.
I can’t wait to decorate the place, arrange things just as I want them, and make it mine—but mostly I’m excited about being able to invite the men over. I don’t have much in the way of furniture yet, so maybe they won’t want to spend much time here, but I can imagine us having some fun in all of the open space. And I do have a bed.
And I have freedom and privacy.
Even though I’m worn out from carrying things in, it's hard to hide my grin while I hang up my clothing, unpack boxes, and arrange items in my little kitchen and bathroom. When all of the important things are set up, Patrick says he needs to get over to the coffee shop. I have the day off, but as the owner, his work there never ends.
“I’ll check in with you later to see if you need anything,” he says as he pauses in the doorway.
“Thank you, and thanks for all of your help today. I really appreciate it.”