Total pages in book: 62
Estimated words: 58142 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 291(@200wpm)___ 233(@250wpm)___ 194(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 58142 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 291(@200wpm)___ 233(@250wpm)___ 194(@300wpm)
Rachel gives a small nod and continues watching me, waiting for the other reasons.
“Even if I could trust that they’d never do anything to hurt me, I can’t control all of the women who literally throw themselves at them. And it’s the men’s job to make those women feel good, and feel like they’re being flirted with. It’s a lot. The more time I spend with them, the more I can’t bear to think about what happens at the club.”
She nods again.
“On top of that, aside from you and Becca, no one else knows I’ve been seeing them. I could never tell my parents, because they’re fiercely opposed to the men’s club and everything about it. If I thought I might be exaggerating that issue, today showed me that I’m not. The men came into the bakery when my parents were there, and my mom literally walked out when she found out they were the owners of Club Red.”
“Your parents didn’t find out that you’re seeing them?”
“No, thank goodness. Though I was sick to my stomach at the thought of that happening.”
“I can imagine,” Rachel says. Looking thoughtful, she lifts a spoonful of soup. “It sounds like the relationship you have with the men is causing you a lot of stress.”
“I hadn’t thought of it that way, but I guess I can’t deny it. But when I’m with them, I’m not stressed. We always have a great time together, and it’s easy for me to forget all of my concerns, even though I know it’s not good to keep overlooking things.”
“That’s tough,” she says.
I should have never gotten involved with them. That’s a fact, even though I can’t bring myself to regret it. If I’d never met them, I’d have missed out on a lot of fun and friendship, as well as all the things we do that go way beyond friendship.
The more I see them, the harder and harder it is to think about not seeing them anymore. But if those flowers are truly an indication of how they’re feeling about me, then I’d better end things sooner rather than later.
It’s bad enough knowing that I’m going to get hurt; I don’t want to hurt them too.
26
Date auction
Despite my resolve, more days pass, and I continue to see the Stanton brothers, because I can’t bring myself to stop. It’s hard to believe how fast time is passing, and before I know it, it’s the end of the month and time for the animal shelter’s charity auction.
The event starts in the mid-afternoon, and it’s on a day when the brothers will be performing at the club, so I tell them I have plans with Becca that evening. I don’t mention the auction because it’s embarrassing. If someone bids on a date with me, I’ll tell the men about it before I go on the date, not that we have any kind of exclusive arrangement or anything.
Even so, if the auction wasn’t all about benefiting the animals, I’d back out. Originally, I had hopeful thoughts that I might meet someone at the event, but I don’t have any interest in that now, even though I should be looking for someone that I can get serious with and bring home to my family.
Despite my lack of enthusiasm, I take care in getting ready, putting on a new red dress I bought for the event. Out of habit, I reach for my shapewear bodysuit first, but I don’t actually pick it up. If my natural curves are good enough for the Stanton brothers, then they’re good enough for everyone else. I’m so much more comfortable in regular underwear.
Besides, I won’t have to get up on stage, thank goodness. I’d have never agreed to participate if I had to stand there while people were encouraged to bid on me. I couldn’t handle the embarrassment if no one bid on me.
While I’m putting on makeup, I catch myself thinking these negative thoughts and realize that Chase, Maddox, Dodge and Diesel would hate to know that I think about myself this way. It’s a hard habit to break, but I have been catching my thoughts lately, and putting a stop to the negative ones, even though I have to do it over and over.
The four of them always give me so many compliments. They truly seem to think I’m beautiful, and if they think so, maybe I should too.
I arrive early for the auction, which is being held at the Four Points community center. I have a donation with me from Maddy, a big box of cookies that she made specially for the event. They’re cut out in shapes of doghouses, paw prints, and cat toys. After I arrange them on a platter, I help with the other refreshments, and then briefly scan the tables that hold the auction displays.