Total pages in book: 133
Estimated words: 126589 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 633(@200wpm)___ 506(@250wpm)___ 422(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 126589 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 633(@200wpm)___ 506(@250wpm)___ 422(@300wpm)
“What the fuck do you want from me, Beth? I’m trying to do the right thing. I don’t want you to miss out on any time with our friends because I know how much they mean to you.”
“And I’m supposed to ignore how much they mean to you? Supposed to pretend that this solution is okay because it benefits me while leaving you out in the cold? You really do think I’m like all those villains you sketched me as, don’t you? Without a conscience, evil to the core. Why else would you assume I’d be okay with this?”
“I think you’re wonderful. I think you’re the best thing that ever happened to me. I think that if this really is the end for us, then I’d rather be far away from here than see you every day without being able to touch you or talk to you or be with you. I’m in love with you, for Christ’s sake. I think I’ve always been in love with you.”
Her lips trembled and she pinched them between her teeth, her eyes shimmered with tears, one of which slipped onto her cheek before she viciously wiped it away with the back of her hand.
“If you l-love me, you w-wouldn’t have hurt me. You would have stood up for me and never believed those terrible things about me.”
“I know that, baby. I’ve failed you. I’ve failed us. But God help me, Beth… I do love you.”
Her eyes were devastating in their anger and grief and he felt the knot in the pit of his stomach tighten when she shook her head in denial of his words.
“I don’t believe you.”
Four little words. That was all it took to utterly destroy him.
Gideon sank down on the couch and watched helplessly through blurry eyes as she picked up her bag and jacket and walked out with only the briefest of goodbyes for their dismayed friends.
Beth was shaking so badly by the time she got home, that her teeth were actually chattering.
Shock.
It had to be.
Shock at knowledge that Gideon was thinking of leaving. Shock that he’d claimed to be in love with her. Followed by the absolute shock that for a brief, giddy, wild moment she had actually believed that his declaration might be true.
But reality had set in seconds later. And that giddiness had turned to bitter disappointment when she recalled the bleakness of their situation.
He couldn’t love her. Not after the things he’d said to her. The way he’d treated her.
She didn’t know what he was playing at, but that was the absolute truth of the matter.
– from Cat.
Beth stared at the screen for a second, before replying.
Cat typed for several minutes before giving up and calling instead.
“Beth…”
“Don’t say it, Cat. What he said wasn’t true.”
“If you’d seen him after you left, you’d be singing a different tune. Cam took his keys, he was in no state to drive. We poured an emergency ration of whiskey into him and Cam’s sitting with him right now. They have the TV on to some sports channel, but I don’t think Gideon is aware of what’s happening around him right now. We’ll put him in the guest room tonight.”
Beth’s swallowed painfully and shook her head.
“He d-doesn’t love me, Cat. I don’t know why he’d s-say that.”
“Do you love him?”
She didn’t reply. She couldn’t. But her non-answer was answer enough for her astute friend.
“If you love him, Beth, why is it so impossible to believe that he loves you in return?”
“He’s the one who said there was nothing between us, Cat. He’s the one who said he never wanted to see me again. He’s the one who believed the most horrible things about me and then used my stutter against me to mute any response I may have made in my defense.” The tears were lodged in her throat, a massive obstacle that made it almost impossible to talk. Yet with each word they pushed their way upward, raising the pitch of her voice, adding a hitch to her breath, and a nasally whine to the back of her nose.
The shuddering sob that finally forced its way out of her chest hurt like hell. And she doubled over in agony.
“Oh, Beth, I’m so sorry.”
“I don’t know what to do. It would be so easy to believe him. To forget about this, but if I did, and it happened again, it would destroy me, and I’d have nobody to blame but myself.”
“I understand. And I do get why you feel this way… but—” She sighed, the sound distraught and helpless. “I feel that you should listen to what he has to say. About what happened that day. You don’t have to believe him, you don’t have to forgive him, but before you make a decision that will affect the rest of your life, maybe just make sure you have all the information. Okay?”