Total pages in book: 121
Estimated words: 112069 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 560(@200wpm)___ 448(@250wpm)___ 374(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 112069 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 560(@200wpm)___ 448(@250wpm)___ 374(@300wpm)
I used my free arm to reach for him and when I pulled him against my chest, he went without hesitation. His hold on me was tight. I kissed the top of his head, but then that wasn't enough. I understood his confusion because I'd been there myself. I still was. I tipped his head back so I could kiss him. His arms crawled around my neck instantly. He kissed me back with hunger and without reservation. At least this part of us made sense.
I forced myself to break the kiss and then I took his hand and led him to the bed. I didn't miss his hesitation as I sat down on it. I was about to reassure him that nothing was going to happen, but instead, I used the moment to figure out something else I needed to know. I drew him forward until his knees bumped mine. Remy was clearly nervous, but he didn't try to pull away or say anything. I dropped his hands so I could reach for his legs. I gently urged him to step on each side of mine and then I was drawing him down so he was straddling my lap. The fact that Remy did so without hesitation made my heart soar.
So there was some trust after all.
I rested my hands on his back and gave him a quick kiss. "If anything happens between us, sweetheart, it's going to be your choice and it sure as hell isn't going to be in a dump like this."
I saw a ghost of a smile on his lips. He seemed a little more relaxed. I kept my arms wrapped around his lower waist and was surprised when he lifted his fingers to sift through my hair.
"Why did you leave?" I asked.
Remy's fingers slid down the side of my face as his eyes met mine. His touch was gentle and sweet, and I could have sat like that forever with him just loving on me a little.
"I knew I wouldn't be strong enough to watch her take Violet away. When she did, there would've been no reason for you to…"
"To what?" I asked.
"To keep me around. I didn't want it to be like…" he began to say, then he dropped his eyes. I quickly tipped his chin back up so he had to look at me.
"Like what?" I prodded.
"Like when I went home." He shook his head and I saw his eyes fill with moisture. "I didn't want it to be like that. Not with you."
He didn't need to say anything else because I got it. He hadn't wanted to experience the pain of me turning him away like his parents had. The idea that maybe his feelings for me rivaled mine for him was overwhelming and exciting, but I didn't want to screw this up and scare him away again. I racked my brain for something smart to say, something that would reassure him that it wouldn't be like that. But all that came out was, "Then stay."
"What?" Remy choked out.
"Stay," I repeated. As soon as I'd said that word the first time, it was like a valve inside of me had been loosened and all the pain, guilt, and helplessness I'd been feeling for the past eight years started to ease a bit. "Just stay, Remy."
"I…" was all he got out.
I could see the idea was too overwhelming for him and since I was afraid of spooking him, I added, "Just for a while. We can see where things go… we can go out."
"What, you mean like on… a date?" Remy asked, his expression twisted with confusion and disbelief.
I found myself smiling as I realized that was exactly what I meant. "Yeah, a date," I said. "Preferably a lot of dates."
"You want me to stay with you… in your house. So you can date me?"
His confusion and disbelief were adorable. But then I realized how the concept might sound to someone with his past, so I quickly amended, "Just date. We go out to dinner, watch movies, whatever it is people do on dates. I've never really been on one, so we’ll have to play it by ear. But just dates, Remy." I hoped that he'd get I wasn't trying to buy him for sex or something.
Remy didn't respond at first. I forced myself to remain silent so he could process my words. What I was asking was a pretty big deal. But I was more certain than ever that it was exactly what we needed. We’d been together for several weeks now, but our relationship had been anything but easy. It was like we'd started in reverse and we’d shared all the heavy stuff and been through all these traumatic things, but we needed to get to know each other outside of all that.