Total pages in book: 121
Estimated words: 112069 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 560(@200wpm)___ 448(@250wpm)___ 374(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 112069 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 560(@200wpm)___ 448(@250wpm)___ 374(@300wpm)
"Night," he returned. His hands dropped to his sides, but I still couldn't make my body move. It took everything in me to finally turn on my heel and walk away from him. My lips tingled and my body ached, and they both stayed that way long after I returned to my own bed. Hours later when my eyes finally did begin to drift shut, it wasn't thoughts of my past or getting high that followed me into the darkness.
It was Luca.
Only Luca.
* * *
"Remy, I need you to wake up, sweetheart."
I couldn't help but jerk awake because I simply wasn't used to being woken up in the middle of the night by a strange voice… Or any voice, for that matter. My heart rate instantly went through the roof and I fisted my hands in preparation to fight off whatever man thought it was his right to hurt me.
"Shhh, it's okay, it's just me, Luca." A gentle hand on my shoulder accompanied the voice. "Violet is still sleeping."
The reminder of Violet helped me focus on where I was, and more importantly, when I was. My eyes adjusted to the dimness of the room. It helped that I always left a light on for Violet so she wouldn't be scared if she woke up in the middle of the night. Luca was sitting on the edge of my bed, his hip brushing mine through the thin blanket.
As I fought to catch my breath, Luca's hand came up to cup my cheek. "Sorry, but I thought you’d want to know as soon as I found something out."
"About what? Is it Gio? Is he okay?" I began asking, my fear for Luca causing my heart to jump in my chest again.
"It's not about Gio. It's about Violet."
I automatically looked at the crib the hotel staff had brought us when we’d first checked in. I could still see Violet's sleeping form. "She's okay?" I asked anyway.
"She's fine," Luca responded. His hand was still on my cheek, and that had me turning my attention to him. I realized he was dressed in a pair of sweats and nothing more. I couldn't help but feel strangely glad that he’d gone to bed at some point after our late-night kiss.
"Then what is it?" I asked.
Luca seemed to hesitate and that was when I knew. My heart fell and it suddenly became hard to breathe. "You found them, didn't you? You found her family."
"Let's go to my room to talk," he said softly.
I didn't want to. Not because it was his room, but because I didn't want to hear what he had to say. The pity was clear in his voice. No matter what he was about to tell me, it meant I was going to lose Violet sooner rather than later. If he’d found her family, she would have a place to go, but if he hadn't, then Violet faced life in foster care.
"Just tell me, please, Luca," I begged. I kept my voice low so Violet wouldn’t wake up. Somehow, I needed to keep my eyes on her while I took in whatever it was he was about to tell me.
He sighed and dropped his hand, but only so he could place it over mine. I had my hand on my lap, so technically his was precariously close to my groin, but I didn't even care. There was nothing sexual about the contact. He was merely trying to comfort me.
"My brother, King, found Jackie's family. Her parents divorced about a year ago. Her father died in a car accident and her mother is in jail for drug possession. The only other relative is an aunt… the one Violet was named after. King checked her out, both on paper and in person. She's a retired schoolteacher. She has no criminal history and it looks like she's been looking for Jackie ever since she disappeared."
It was good news. It was. But I still felt sick to my stomach.
"Did you talk to her?" I asked.
"Not yet," he said. "I wanted to make sure that you hadn't changed your mind about wanting Violet."
I dropped my eyes and automatically shifted them to Violet's crib. My head hurt and my chest felt tight. Pain radiated up and down my spine, though I didn't really know why. In that moment I wanted to tell him that I had changed my mind. I wanted to tell him that I loved the little girl and I would give anything for the chance to be her father. But before I could open my mouth, a familiar sweetness washed over my tongue. The fact that heroin was choosing that exact moment to remind me that I was far from its grip made me feel like more of a failure than I ever had in my entire life.