Total pages in book: 103
Estimated words: 95906 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 480(@200wpm)___ 384(@250wpm)___ 320(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 95906 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 480(@200wpm)___ 384(@250wpm)___ 320(@300wpm)
How did you explain that for the first time in a long time, it felt like you could breathe?
Really breathe.
And how the hell were you supposed to survive it if that someone who now owned every piece of your heart ended up breaking it?
I was pretty sure I knew the answer to the last question.
I wouldn’t.
Chapter Twenty
Micah
“What happens now?” I somehow found the strength to ask even though my entire body felt like it weighed a thousand pounds.
And it had nothing to do with the fact that Con was still lying on top of me, his weight deliciously pressing me into the mattress. His face was buried against my neck. I never wanted him to move.
I still couldn’t believe how hard I’d come and that Con had seemingly enjoyed what he’d done to me. I’d always hated performing oral sex on Barry and the other men but Con had proven that he wasn't just any man. And not just when it came to sex, either. I trusted him. I trusted him with everything that I was. And that scared the hell out of me.
Con tensed against me, and then, to my surprise, he was rolling off me. He didn't get off the bed, but he did put several inches between us. It felt like a mile.
I felt cold and exposed, which I actually was. Since my pajama bottoms were still hanging well below my hips, I grabbed the edge of the comforter and drew it over my body. Disappointment went through me when Con pulled his pants up.
It was a familiar sight.
And while it had never bothered me before when the other men had done it after they'd finished using me, somehow seeing Con do it made everything inside of me go cold.
“I'll leave for Vegas in the morning. I'll make sure you guys have everything you need before I go.”
I wanted to die right there on the spot. I was sure I would.
“Okay,” I managed to somehow say, though I had no idea how since it felt like my throat had completely closed up.
Con swung his legs over the bed so all I could see of him was his exposed back. If he’d just gotten up and left, I would've somehow managed to deal with it, but something in the way that he sat there for a moment, hunched over… it did something to me. I couldn't say what, but I knew that I couldn't just keep my mouth shut. I couldn't blend into the background like I'd always tried to do when I was younger. I didn't want to hide from this. I didn't want to escape it. Not after everything he’d done to me, everything he'd made me feel.
I stared at the ceiling and wrapped my fingers around the edge of the comforter as I tried to find the courage to speak. Con was just about to push himself off the bed when I finally managed to say, “Did I do something wrong?”
I didn't recognize my own voice. It sounded small and weak. And more than a little pathetic.
“What?” Con asked. He sounded surprised and when I felt his eyes on me, I turned to see that he’d shifted on the bed so that he was looking at me. “What did you just say?” he repeated.
I could feel the humiliation burning my skin. I wanted to tell him that I hadn't said anything, but I couldn't. I just couldn't. I had to know what I’d done wrong or it would haunt me forever because I’d been so sure that what had happened between us tonight had changed things. He’d said as much before he'd made love to me.
Maybe he hadn’t meant it. People said a lot of stuff they didn’t mean when it came to getting sex. Was that what Con had done? I felt sick to my stomach at the realization that while I’d been having this intense, life-changing experience, Con had been doing nothing but getting off.
“Did I do something wrong? No one ever did that to me before. I didn't know what to do. I'm sorry if I hurt you, or if I did it wrong,” I blurted. Once the dam broke, I found myself unable to shut the hell up. “I can do better, Con. If you just tell me what to do—”
Before I could even finish the statement, Con was moving. He practically ripped the comforter off my body before lying back down on top of me. “What?” he croaked, and then his mouth covered mine.
I was completely confused by his behavior, but I kissed him back.
With all that I was. If I was getting a second chance, I didn't want to squander it.
When Con broke the kiss, he just hovered there for a moment, his eyes squeezed shut and his fingers pressed against my cheek. “I'm sorry,” he whispered. “I'm so sorry, Micah.” He kissed me again, though this time it was soft and gentle and sweet.