Total pages in book: 67
Estimated words: 62543 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 313(@200wpm)___ 250(@250wpm)___ 208(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 62543 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 313(@200wpm)___ 250(@250wpm)___ 208(@300wpm)
“Get a bath,” I tell her and turn my back to her, opening the bathroom door and feeling the gush of cold air flood the room. “Don’t make me regret leaving you alone.”
Chapter 14
Robin
It’s so quiet. Every small movement is accompanied by the sounds of the blanket shifting. There’s not the faintest noise except the ones I create.
A little while ago the air conditioner kicked on, and it was heaven. A bit of white noise to drown out the silence. But the break was short-lived, so instead, I lie here in silence.
I turn over onto my side and pick at the threads on the comforter. They're small and so easily pulled.
I close my eyes and the vision of the basement flashes before my eyes. It was quiet then, too. But at least I had the steady sounds of Jay behind me. My throat feels tight as I swallow and try to calm myself down.
I think of the city noise and focus on it. So many nights it’s kept me from this very nightmare. It’s not so loud that it keeps me up or disturbs my sleep. But it’s loud enough to keep me from going back there in my mind.
I grit my teeth and think of how he could hold me now. If he wanted to, he could be in here. I could sleep again.
The thought of falling into the depths of a dream with him makes my body move on its own. I throw back the heavy comforter and move from the bed with purposeful strides but hesitate at the door, my heart beating harder and my confidence waning by the second.
I swallow thickly, my heart beating slowly as fear creeps up and nearly stops me. But how many nights have I prayed to be close to him? How many nights have I wanted him to hold me? And he’s so close. I only have to ask.
My heart aches in my chest as I remember how he’d whisper it. If you need me, just ask.
I need him. God, do I need him.
The lump seems to stop in my throat mid-swallow as I grip the doorknob and open it slowly. It doesn’t escape me that there’s no lock. Just like the bathroom. None to force me to stay in the room, and none to keep Jay out.
The door’s silent, which is a blessing and a curse.
I don’t want Jay to think I’m leaving.
Or worse, the dog.
I peek my head out of the doorway, opening it up slowly to reveal more of the hall. The moonlight spills into the front of the hall from the window in the living room and floods it with light. So much more than what I have in the room Jay gave to me.
I only take one step, my bare foot making the floor groan with my weight before I hear a low growl.
“Toby,” I hear Jay’s voice say the dog’s name low and with an admonition in his voice just as the fear was about to take me. “Stay,” Jay orders from the living room. I turn my head to look back down the hall to the closed door to the basement. That’s where I was headed, but I follow the sound of Jay’s voice and walk slowly to the living room, gripping the molding that cases the doorway and facing both Jay and Toby.
Jay’s on his back in the middle of the floor. A thin blanket covers his lower body, and Toby lays close to Jay. He doesn’t turn to look at me. He absentmindedly pets the dog once and then twice while staring at the ceiling. If not from his hand stroking the dog, I’d think he was asleep with his eyes open, his body is so still.
The dog merely lifts his head once, assessing me and then laying his head back down as if he’s content with my presence.
“I wasn’t sneaking out,” I say quickly and the way I said it makes even me think that I was lying. My fingers twist around one another as I chance a step closer to Jay, just one, although my eyes stay on the dog.
“You should be sleeping, little bird,” Jay finally says and then turns his head to look at me.
“I wanted,” I start to say but get caught in his gaze. It’s intense and the way his eyes look at night with him being so tired, takes me back to when we were trapped. Back to when he couldn’t sleep at all.
“Will you lie down with me?” I manage to ask him, although I don’t know how.
“No,” he answers quickly and with finality. My heart feels splintered from his cold denial. I nod once, accepting it and trying not to think back to the bathroom. To the kiss. To the moment I thought we had. The moment I ruined.