Total pages in book: 115
Estimated words: 109783 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 549(@200wpm)___ 439(@250wpm)___ 366(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 109783 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 549(@200wpm)___ 439(@250wpm)___ 366(@300wpm)
None of them had affected me the way the sight of Fyfe Moray affected me.
Stop thinking about him!
To dismiss Fyfe from my mind, I followed Cameron’s lead and pulled his shirt out of his trousers. He groaned into the kiss, pressing me back against the couch as my hands slipped under to smooth over his stomach. There was no happy trail, like Fyfe’s.
Stop, stop, stop!
Cameron was attractive.
I was attracted to him.
I moaned deliberately to prove it to myself.
But at the feel of his fingers undoing the top button on my jeans, I instinctually covered his hand with mine and broke the kiss.
He searched my face. “Are you okay?”
Gently, I pushed his hand from me. “I … I’m sorry. I … I’m not ready …”
“Hey.” Cameron cupped my face in his hands. “Eilidh, I’m not in this for a quick roll in the sack. We can take this slow.”
Relieved, I nodded. “Thank you. You’re a gentleman.”
“I want to treat you right. You’re so beautiful, Eilidh.” He brushed his lips over mine, almost reverently. “I can’t wait to make love to you, but I can wait. If that makes sense.”
At his smile, I forced a grin.
Make love.
Oh boy.
Not long later, I gave my excuses and left. Cameron kissed me at the door, this time even hungrier than last, his hands squeezing my hips as his erection dug into me. Although I experienced a stirring of arousal, I departed dazed and confused.
Sex had never been a big deal to me. I lost my virginity when I was sixteen and it happened because I wanted it to happen. From that moment on, sex was just for pleasure. It wasn’t about intimacy. It was about getting off.
I’d never tied up sex with romance in the past.
Until Fyfe.
And we hadn’t even had sex!
So, why oh why did the thought of having sex with a man I wasn’t in love with suddenly dampen my libido?
Twenty-Two
FYFE
My house smelled like a home for the first time since I’d bought it.
It smelled of baby—powder, food, and quite often, poop.
This morning it also still held the lingering scent of the sauce Lewis had made to accompany our pasta dinner last night. He and Callie, despite their busy and exhausting lives, took time to make dinner for me and Millie again. It seemed it might turn into a regular thing, and I couldn’t say I didn’t like the idea. Although Harley was a good nine months older than Millie, they still babbled together. I could already see them growing up as close as sisters.
My friends made the thought of single fatherhood a less terrifying prospect.
Yes, I was relieved as fuck Millie was mine.
However, that didn’t mean I’d miraculously shed all my fears. Lewis said if I wasn’t scared, then there was a problem. “All new parents have a healthy amount of terror simmering in their system,” he promised. “But we’re just so fucking exhausted, we get through it.”
I’d laughed at that because it was true.
Last night was the first night Millie didn’t teethe, but she still woke me up three times.
As I clipped my daughter (still so surreal) into the car seat, I talked away to her about where we were going and what the day held. She interrupted me with a few baby words. Today was the first day Eilidh wasn’t here, and I wondered if Millie missed her.
Driving into Ardnoch, I kept talking to Millie because it distracted me from the rage I’d been feeling since yesterday afternoon.
We found Pamela. She was working in Newcastle at a small solicitors’ firm. I’d called her office and they patched me through. Our conversation flashed through my mind and my hands tightened on the steering wheel.
“How did you find me?” Her soft voice was harsher than I’d ever heard it. “Leave me alone.”
“If you hang up on me, I will bring the wrath of the law down on you and as a solicitor, you know after what you did, I have it in my power to ruin you. So listen up.”
I heard her heavy breathing and continued, “The DNA test came back, proving I am Millie’s father.”
“You thought you weren’t?” She had the audacity to sound pissed off.
“A mother who abandons her child outside in the open isn’t someone I particularly trust,” I snapped. “Now, my solicitor is going to serve you with a document that states you give up all parental rights to Millie. If that’s what you want, you sign it. If it’s not what you want, we’ll need to discuss that further because I need to know you’re in the right mental state to look aft—”
“I don’t want it.”
Stunned silent, it took me a minute to choke out, “It?”
“I don’t want it. It was a mistake. You should keep it.”
“It?” I repeated through clenched teeth. “Do you mean her? Our daughter?”