Total pages in book: 115
Estimated words: 109783 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 549(@200wpm)___ 439(@250wpm)___ 366(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 109783 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 549(@200wpm)___ 439(@250wpm)___ 366(@300wpm)
I was about to hang up on the sixth ring when the line clicked open.
“You better be dying,” he bit out hoarsely, sounding half-asleep.
Wincing, I glanced at the clock on my phone. In my sudden decision to do this, I didn’t think of the time. “Thought you’d be up with Harley,” I replied quietly.
“I have been up with Harley. I’d just fallen back asleep when an arsehole called.”
“Lewis.” I heard Callie’s whispered admonishment in the background.
I winced at Lewis’s words and Callie’s kindness.
“Well, are you going to speak or just call me before the crack of dawn to irritate the fuck out of me?”
“Can we meet, Lew? Please.”
He was silent so long, I squeezed my eyes closed against the emotion boiling within.
“Meet me at Isla’s Point in thirty minutes.” He hung up before I could say anything else.
I felt a flicker of hope. Lewis’s place was not far from mine, and Isla’s Point was a hidden spot on the coast, right between my house and Lewis and Callie’s, where you could access the beach. Most tourists missed it, but locals knew of it.
Thirty minutes later, I’d showered and dressed and stood on the beach at Isla’s Point. My car was parked behind the dunes.
I waited with my hands in my jacket pockets, staring out at the calm North Sea. It was a chilly but beautiful spring morning, the rising sun spilling across the water in ripples of sparkling light.
A gentle but cold breeze ruffled through my hair as I watched the seemingly never-ending horizon. There was no one else out here on the small cove. It was a tiny portion of sandy beach compared to Ardnoch Beach. Another reason it didn’t attract many visitors.
I didn’t hear his footsteps in the sand. Lewis just appeared at my side. His long hair was tied up in a messy bun, his beard needed trimming, and he looked knackered. Yet the fury I’d seen on his face the last time we shared space was gone.
The words, the apology, it stuck inside me for so long, Lewis sighed and flicked me a look. “This is Callie’s day off from the bakery, which means I could be in bed with my wife right now, so if you’re going to speak, speak.”
“I’m so sorry, Lewis.” The words were out, but my voice was like gravel, like I’d had to force them out.
We turned to face each other now. Lewis’s gaze was searching. “Did you apologize to Eilidh?”
It hurt too fucking much to think about her, let alone speak to her. I shook my head. “What can I say to her that will help? Nothing. I asked her to be my friend after she told me she loved me. Selfish bastard that I am.”
“You really don’t love her?”
My hands clenched into fists at my sides. “I can’t love anyone.”
“Can’t or won’t?”
“What?” We locked eyes.
Lewis appeared half pissed off, half sympathetic. “Can’t or won’t love her?”
“Lewis …”
“I was there.” A muscle flexed in his jaw, blue eyes flashing angrily. “I saw you look after yourself because your mum was never there and when she was home, she was usually drunk, and even though you denied it, she was hitting you, wasn’t she?”
A different shame crawled over and I nodded reluctantly.
Lewis let out a shuddering breath. “Then she just abandoned you.”
“Lew—”
“You’ve moved from woman to woman, never letting them close. Never trusting them enough to. But you let Eilidh in. Didn’t you?”
I dragged a hand through my hair, shifting restlessly because I was desperately trying not to fucking cry in front of my best mate. It took me a second to get around the lump in my throat. “I can’t love her. Eilidh … is meant for more than me. For more than this place.”
“Then why did she come home?”
“Because she’s feeling a bit lost and this is a safe place while she figures things out. She’s just … lost and clinging to here. To me. She’ll realize soon enough she doesn’t love me.”
Lewis’s expression hardened. “You patronizing fucker.”
I flinched, my chin jerking back.
“Eilidh is a grown woman who has worked extremely hard to be honest with herself about what she wants and where she wants to be. She’s chosen to come home. And she chose you as the man she loves. Now you can decide you don’t want to be with her, but you do not fucking get to tell her she doesn’t love you or love being home in Ardnoch. I had someone I loved make a choice for me, and I lost her for seven years. Don’t you dare think you know better than Eilidh.” He took a step toward me. “If you want some harsh home truths, Fyfe … you’re so intelligent, you think you know best in every situation. But when it comes to emotions … you’re an immature prick.”