Total pages in book: 114
Estimated words: 103918 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 520(@200wpm)___ 416(@250wpm)___ 346(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 103918 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 520(@200wpm)___ 416(@250wpm)___ 346(@300wpm)
Specifically, his wife. Hell, I didn’t actually know if he’d even been married. He’d only mentioned having a daughter. He most certainly didn’t need to have been married for that…
Oh hell.
"Gideon, please tell me that wasn't your first kiss with a guy." I knew I probably should've waited to have this particular conversation until we got to his place, but there were some questions that needed answers like right now. When Gideon didn't respond, my stomach dropped out and I was sure a little moan of despair escaped my throat before I could cover it up.
"Oh God," I said softly. I'd avoided this exact scenario my entire life. I'd specifically pushed Gideon away after learning about the whole aisle seven thing because I'd known I wouldn't be able to handle being around the man while he was involved with someone else. I’d also never pursued straight men for the exact same reason.
And now I’d gone and kissed him. He'd been experimenting with me for whatever reason, but that kiss had been a whole lot of real for me.
"I think you should probably take me back home," I murmured.
"I don't think so," Gideon responded.
"Gideon, I'm not an experiment—"
"Lex, I just had the best fucking kiss of my entire life. My. Entire. Life. I'm not sitting here thinking about you like you’re some kind of goddamn experiment. I'm just trying to deal with the fact that I'm a thirty-eight-year-old father of two who was married to the same woman for fifteen years and I've only just now had the kind of kiss that you remember for the rest of your life. That's the only reason I'm not in a place where I can talk about it right now, okay?"
His speech stunned me into silence, though I did manage to squeak out an, "Okay," so he’d know I wasn't ignoring him. I didn't know which part of his statement to mentally tackle first. The fact that the kiss had been as moving an experience for him as it had been for me or the fact that he'd been married for so long and had two children.
I was nervous as the minutes ticked by because I had no clue what was going to happen when we got to his place. It wasn't really even an issue of whether or not we were going to have sex because it was a whole lot more complicated than that. Gideon hadn't said it, but my gut was telling me that his sexuality was going to play heavily into whatever conversation we had. Just because he'd enjoyed kissing me didn't mean he’d actually been ready to kiss me. Or do anything else.
A person's libido could make them behave in the most peculiar of ways, but it was ultimately the mind they had to overcome to accept who they really were. Just because Gideon wanted me didn't mean he wanted to want me.
"Don't move," Gideon commanded when he pulled the truck to a stop. I wasn't one for taking orders but taking orders from Gideon was an entirely different thing. I supposed that was something else I didn't want to think too much about.
I heard Gideon get out of the truck and a handful of seconds later, my door was opening. To my surprise, Gideon again took my hand to help me out but instead of looping it through his arm, he held on to it. He kept our bodies close as he shut the truck door and led me to his house. He wasn't wearing gloves, so I could feel how warm his palms were. The strength in his fingers was intoxicating, as was the roughness of the pads of his fingertips. I imagined them exploring every inch of my body. An involuntary shudder went through me.
"Cold?" Gideon asked.
"Not even a little bit," I admitted. I could feel Gideon's eyes on me as we walked.
"Steps are a couple feet away." Gideon slowed down as he spoke and by the time we reached the porch steps, he’d come to a stop so I could feel the first step out with my foot. He stayed by my side as we climbed the steps and then I heard the creak of the door as he pushed it open. Part of me just wanted him to grab me and drag me inside to do whatever he wanted to me just so I wouldn't have to deal with the hard conversation I knew was coming.
Gideon didn't say anything as he closed the door. He released my hand, so I took a few steps forward so I wouldn't be in his way as he shut the door. A moment later, I could feel him behind me. My skin tingled when his hands skimmed each side of my throat. He maneuvered his hands lower but it was only so he could get my coat off. I heard the fabric rustle as he presumably hung my coat up, but then there was silence. This time, there wasn't that inherent need to call out to him to make sure he was still there. I knew he was. I could hear him breathing and I could smell his cologne or aftershave or whatever it was.