Total pages in book: 114
Estimated words: 103918 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 520(@200wpm)___ 416(@250wpm)___ 346(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 103918 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 520(@200wpm)___ 416(@250wpm)___ 346(@300wpm)
Lex shook his head. "No, everyone's fine."
I sighed in relief. It was funny how quickly Lex's family had come to mean so much to me as well, despite the fact that I'd only met one other member of it. If the other brothers were anything like King, it was going to make for some interesting family get-togethers.
"Why didn't you tell me, Gideon?" Lex asked, his eyes sad. Before I could ask what he was talking about, he added, "About Emma."
The mere mention of my oldest daughter had that same familiar pain spiraling throughout my body. It was quickly followed by the self-preservation instinct that had made it possible for me to put one foot in front of the other day after day. I turned my back on Lex and returned my attention to the shirt I'd been examining to make sure it was clean before packing it. "I was planning on it," I said simply.
I didn't recognize my own voice. The emptiness in it, anyway. Had I always sounded like that when someone had asked me about Bethie and Emma? I'd always said something similar about me being fine or thanking people for their concern, but I'd never really heard how I’d said the words. I wondered if it would always be this way. If, when something got too hard to deal with, I'd always have that instinct to tamp down my emotions.
I bunched the shirt up between my hands as I moved to sit down on the bed. Lex, my sweet, beautiful Lex, was at my side almost instantly. His fingers curled through mine. "I assume King told you?"
"He was just worried about me, Gideon. He only researched you because of what happened with Grady and because I'd put your name on the account for the purchase of the cabins."
I fell silent, but I couldn't find it in me to be angry with King. Now that I understood his relationship with his younger brother, I was actually grateful for his meddling. It meant someone would always be looking out for Lex if for some reason I couldn't.
"I really was going to tell you," I murmured.
"I believe you," Lex assured me.
I looked down at our joined hands. "With everything that we learned about Gio yesterday, I just didn't want to… I didn't want to burden you."
"Gideon, you will never be a burden to me. What hurts you, hurts me. Yesterday must have been really difficult for you."
I nodded, even though I knew he couldn't see it. "It was," I agreed. Listening to how Lex's nephew had been kidnapped and the circumstances of his return had made me physically ill. It had also terrified me to my very core. "It's not the same with Emma," I said. "At least she's with her grandparents."
"How long have they been missing?" Lex asked.
"Almost two years," I admitted. I sighed and tossed the shirt aside so I could hold on to Lex's hand with both of mine. "After Serena and Bethie died, Emma blamed me for it. While Serena and I were separated, Emma had lived with Serena. Her mother used every opportunity to turn Emma against me. Serena knew how much I loved my kids and how the last thing I wanted was for them to be affected by the divorce. I don't know, maybe in some weird way she thought driving Emma and me apart would force me back home."
"But it didn't," Lex offered.
"No, I just couldn't do it anymore. But I refused to stoop to Serena's level." I realized I was jumping too far ahead, so I said, "We married too young. In all honesty, I wasn't ready to settle down. I spent my whole life wanting to be a photographer. I wanted to travel the world and take pictures of anything and everything. I was fascinated by all the things you could see through a lens. But it was so much more than that. I didn't want people to just see my pictures. I wanted them to feel them. I wanted them to be able to look at them and be transported to that very moment when I'd gotten the shot. Every sound, every smell, whether the wind was blowing or there was rain in the air, all of it… it was all I ever wanted."
"But then Serena got pregnant, right?"
"Yeah. I'd wanted her to travel the world with me, but she didn't share that dream. We just wanted different things. But when I found out I was going to be a father, I knew things had to change. I got a job as a photographer for a local newspaper in Fresno. That was where she grew up and where her parents lived. I had this hope that after the baby came, maybe there would be some way we could go explore the world together. Me and Serena and the baby. I couldn't imagine anything cooler than my daughter seeing the world as she grew up. But Serena wanted the whole white picket fence thing."