Total pages in book: 114
Estimated words: 107670 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 538(@200wpm)___ 431(@250wpm)___ 359(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 107670 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 538(@200wpm)___ 431(@250wpm)___ 359(@300wpm)
She tensed. “I know.” But Harley just couldn’t return the claim yet. She’d told Tess it was because she needed to know he could open up, but it was more than that. The little girl inside her who had never been indelible to anyone, who had never really belonged anywhere, worried that she would only ever be second best to Jesse.
He’d told Harley that wasn’t the case, and she was sure he even believed that. She just wasn’t sure that it was true. How could it be? How could she possibly have the same significance to him that his true mate—his other half—did? She didn’t think it could be possible, even if he wanted it to be.
What worried her was that there might be guilt behind his protective walls, guilt at claiming another female. If he had never met and then tragically lost Torrie, it would be different. She would have only existed in his mind as an abstract person. It was easier to forgive yourself for mating another when you had never known your true mate—or, at least, that was how it was for Harley. But Jesse had known Torrie. She’d been a flesh-and-blood person to him, and her death had wrecked him, left a black mark on his soul. Harley had sensed that mark the second she’d met him and looked into a pair of dead eyes.
It was worth noting that he’d had years to come to terms with his loss. His vacant eyes could sometimes gleam with emotion, though it was rare. And he’d actually found enough life in him to want to claim another female. She’d found enough hope in all of that to accept his claim. But to claim him in return, she needed more. She needed the surety that there could be a mating bond.
There were couples that chose not to imprint on each other, but those relationships never worked because their inner animals would accept nothing more than total commitment on every level. If they didn’t get it, they withdrew from the relationship . . . and their human side then had to do the same. As such, her worries about his emotional ability to imprint on her weren’t insignificant.
He’d said Torrie’s death had shaped him into a different person. Maybe it had. Or maybe he’d become a different person to protect the boy who’d lost his mate. Maybe his hard personality was more like a protective shell that guarded his real self.
Harley knew all about building another personality to protect who you truly were and to escape the pain. People did it all the time. But if a part of him deep inside—no matter how small—couldn’t accept Harley without guilt, imprinting would never happen. Then they’d have to go their separate ways and look at each other’s claiming mark in the mirror every freaking day, and remember the mistake they had made.
Tess was right; Harley needed to talk to him. As gently as possible, she said, “Tell me about Torrie.”
Now it was he who tensed. “Why?”
“You never talk about her. You can, you know. I’m not bitter about her being your true mate.”
He rolled onto his back. “I know. But there’s nothing to say.”
Harley tried not to bristle at his icy dismissal, but it was hard. Her cat really didn’t like it. “What was she like?”
Jaw grinding, Jesse merely said, “I told you. Passive. Timid.”
“Yes, but I find it difficult to believe any person could ever be summed up in two words.”
Jesse turned to face her, pinning her gaze. “If there is ever anything you want I’ll give it to you. No limits. I’ll give you whatever you want. Any question you have I’ll answer. But she’s a subject we won’t touch,” he clipped. “I told you about her once so I could make my point. I made it. You got it. We don’t need to speak of her again.”
Irritation and hurt rushed through Harley and her cat in a powerful wave. “Why is she a subject we won’t touch?” Did he think she’d be bitchy about Torrie? Did he really think that little of her?
His nostrils flared. “She has nothing to do with us.”
“She’s not a memory you need to protect from me. I’d never taint your loss with petty jealousies.”
Jesse slid out of bed and shoved a hand through his hair. “She’s fucking dead, Harley. There’s nothing else to say. You don’t need to know about her.”
“Jesse—”
“No, Harley, drop it.” Jesse watched as Harley slowly uncoiled from the bed to stand upright, making him think of a snake ready to strike. And he knew he’d just messed up big time.
“All right,” Harley drawled, remaining cool and collected. She would not let him see her pain. No fucking way. “You want to drop it?” She shrugged nonchalantly. “Then that’s what we’ll do.”