Total pages in book: 141
Estimated words: 134212 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 671(@200wpm)___ 537(@250wpm)___ 447(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 134212 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 671(@200wpm)___ 537(@250wpm)___ 447(@300wpm)
We smile against each other as I take the side of the door. “Tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow,” he confirms, breaking away and laughing when the girls claim me and haul me back.
“We’ll look after her,” Penny calls, slamming the door. “Now”—she swings around and holds up her bottle— “I have no kids for the night so I’m about to get blind drunk.” Swigging back a good few inches of the bottle, I watch on with wide eyes.
“You’re supposed to be looking after me,” I point out. These women, the wives of Billy’s two best friends, are, technically, friends of mine by default, for that reason alone. Really, it’s a good job we get on like a house on fire.
Helen links arms with me and we start walking through to the kitchen. “She has a toddler and Gareth is trying to get her knocked up again. She’s taking each and every opportunity very seriously.”
I laugh as I look back, finding Penny toasting the air in agreement. “Are you ready to sign yourself over for life?” she asks.
“Just try and stop me.”
Chapter Two
With the absence of my own father, who couldn’t make it over from Canada, and the lack of willingness from Billy’s father to say a few words, only Billy and his best man, Gareth, gave speeches. It didn’t matter. Gareth took the time that should have been allocated to fathers and ran with it. In typical best man style, he had everyone laughing their socks off, including me, telling tales of their college days and young adulthood. I squeezed Billy’s knee as he cringed all over the top table, constantly apologizing on his best mate’s behalf.
“And I feel it only right to warn the new Mrs. Harper of my mate’s alter ego.” Gareth sweeps his hand out in gesture to the projector screen at the back of the room, looking as smug as smug could be. “Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Bolly Harpton.”
My eyes swing up toward the screen, along with everyone else’s in the room, and my mouth falls open. “Oh my God.” Rapturous laughter erupts, and Billy’s forehead meets the table, mortified. My husband is gracing the screen, looking uncannily similar to Dolly Parton, from his white-blond wig, to the two giant balloons stuffed down his pink jumper. My eyes bug when I make it past his mini skirt, my hand slapping over my mouth. “Your penis is hanging out,” I yell, much louder than I should. Because maybe nobody would notice. Or maybe I’m a total fool.
“That isn’t me,” Billy whispers in my ear as I stare at the part of Billy’s body, one of my most favorite parts, along with pretty much every living soul I know. And some that I don’t.
“You sure?” I ask. “Because I’d recognize that part of you anywhere.” I break out in laughter along with our guests, sliding down my chair and holding my tummy.
“The thong I had on wasn’t very accommodating,” he grumbles, his nose wrinkling at the screen. “It kept slipping out.”
“Oh God,” I howl, falling forward onto the table, my head on my arms. “Make him take it down before your mother has a fit.”
“Too late.”
My head shoots up, and I find Linda quickly, the only person in the room who isn’t amused. “Oh dear.”
Billy shakes his head in despair, tossing Gareth a dark look, which goes straight over his head. “You bastard,” he mouths.
“Sorry, pal.” Gareth shrugs.
“You said that photo was lost in history.”
“Turns out it was lost in the special box I’ve been keeping for this very moment.” Gareth wanders over and opens his arms to Billy. “Give your mate a hug.”
Billy can’t conceal his secret smile, getting up from the table and throwing his arms around his best friend. “I cannot believe you did this to me.”
“Believe it.” Gareth flashes me a cheeky smile as I wipe at my eyes with a napkin, the remnants of my laughter making my body jerk erratically every now and then.
“Good job, Gareth.” I chuckle as they break apart, Billy taking his seat and Gareth returning to his. “When was that?” I ask, taking Billy’s empty glass and passing him a fresh drink. He looks like he needs one.
“We’d won the cup final. Mid-season, we didn’t stand a fucking chance. Clever clogs here said that if we won, I’d dress up as a woman on our customary night out on the last day of the season. Gareth started scoring goals like a machine from the second I uttered the words.” He takes a long glug of his champagne. “And we won the league.”
I snort, quite unattractively for a bride, patting at Billy’s knee reassuringly. “I still love you.”
“Of course you do.” He flips me a wink, pulling me onto his lap as his best man wraps up on his mission to kill Billy with embarrassment.