Total pages in book: 96
Estimated words: 95080 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 475(@200wpm)___ 380(@250wpm)___ 317(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 95080 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 475(@200wpm)___ 380(@250wpm)___ 317(@300wpm)
“I promise to feed you when we get there,” I said playfully, “because that is so not going to hold you.”
“Oh yeah? You’re gonna take me out to dinner?”
“I will.” I sighed, bumping him with my shoulder.
“It’s a date.”
I smiled as I went back to my Excel spreadsheet.
When the lights were turned off so people could sleep, I saw Celia and Breckin lean their heads together. It was good they were talking; they had a lot to figure out.
“I’m sorry,” Cord said.
“What?” I mumbled, not turning to look at him, still busy with work.
“I know this is hard on you. You probably thought you’d be meeting his folks someday, but not like this.”
“It doesn’t matter. Truly.” I opened QuickBooks, ready to start paying people.
He leaned close enough to breathe down the side of my neck. “How come?”
“We’re done.”
“Yeah, you said that yesterday.”
“Then why the question?” I asked, turning my head to squint at him.
“I just wanna be clear.”
“It would be stupid on my part otherwise, and I promise you, I’m not.”
“What’s that?”
“Stupid. Are you even listening?”
“Yes, I’m—”
“If we were married, if we’d taken that step, then this might be tragic. As it is, it’s just over, which makes it easier for everyone.”
“You’re sure?”
“Cord, it’s been nearly six months.”
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why be done?”
“How come we’re going over this again?”
“Humor me.”
I huffed out a breath. “Trust,” I replied flatly. “It’s all gone.”
“Yeah, but you can rebuild that.”
I tried to imagine being back in my cozy little A-frame with Breckin or moving to Pacific Heights with him, but the images just wouldn’t come. I couldn’t picture us together anymore. Somewhere during the months we’d been apart, everything had changed. Because I hadn’t been checking in with myself every day, I’d missed the healing. I wasn’t looking for a new relationship, so I’d been going along, living my life, doing all the things I normally did just minus my plus-one. And now, faced with the whole would I take him back or not, I could say no without being inundated with pain and longing as when the separation was fresh. I used to wonder how people broke up and moved on because I figured there would always be the interest in the other person. But, it seemed, sometimes things just came to a conclusion and that was all. It was terribly anticlimactic. Not like the end of The Bodyguard at all.
“I think that for a lot of people a one-off indiscretion can be forgiven. Like, you messed up and you’re really sorry. And you promised you’d be faithful, but there was a moment of weakness. I can see that.”
Cord was silent, but he put his big, heavy hand back on my thigh.
“But for me, like I told Evan and Matt and probably everyone but you, it’s a trust issue. I don’t see how you get back to I’m working late at the office without thinking, yeah, sure you are. I would always be wondering if he’s sleeping around.”
He just kept staring at me.
“It’s like foreskin.”
“No,” he groaned.
“Once it’s gone, baby, it ain’t comin’ back.”
He squinted at me. “That’s a terrible metaphor.”
“Yes, but applicable in this situation.” I started giggling and couldn’t stop. I closed my eyes and breathed. When the laughter subsided, I felt a hand on my cheek. “I’m an idiot.”
“Yep,” he agreed, tracing his thumb over my eyebrow.
I breathed in and out, concentrating, his gentle touch helping me focus, his thumb smoothing over my lashes.
“I’ve always thought these looked fake.”
“I’m sorry?”
“Your eyelashes,” he growled softly. “They’re so long and really beautiful resting on your cheeks.”
I swallowed down the lump in my throat.
“They look like glossy black feathers.”
It was helping, how he was talking to me. I could feel myself calm. I opened my eyes and went for a change of subject. “You never said if we should or should not be worrying about Sean Granger.”
“No. You were right, he’s in the Amazon, building free clinics with Doctors Without Borders. I got video of him to verify.”
“You should have more faith in me.”
“I do have faith in you, more than you know, but I have to check, yeah? It’s all part of being a police inspector.”
“True,” I agreed. “But what about when Sean comes back? Will he be safe then?”
“Well, God willing, this will be over before he returns at the beginning of next year and it won’t be an issue.”
“Good.”
“It’s really nice of you to worry about the man your ex cheated with.”
“Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to be friends with the guy, but he doesn’t deserve to die just because he slept with Breckin.”
“Agreed.”
“So basically, we’re back to the psycho killer being after me and Celia.”
Cord did a slow pan, looking like I’d gut-punched him.
“Right?” I pressed.
“Jesus, Trace, really?”
“That’s the truth, isn’t it? That’s why we’re on this trip, being used as live bait.”