Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 89012 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 445(@200wpm)___ 356(@250wpm)___ 297(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 89012 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 445(@200wpm)___ 356(@250wpm)___ 297(@300wpm)
“I love you,” he says. “This isn’t about that. I didn’t bring this up because I don’t.”
I shake my head. “I love you too.”
“A step back for a minute?”
“Yeah. A step back for a minute.” I hope.
I extract myself from his arms. I feel him resist, not wanting to let me go. He should know that I don’t want it either.
“I’m going to go,” I say.
Panic flashes through his eyes as reality sets in.
“Um … yeah. I’ll see you around, I guess,” I say.
I offer him the best smile I can manage and bolt for the door.
“Ash!”
I don’t stop until I’ve pulled the door open. Then I turn around.
He’s standing in the kitchen next to his pink bowl, his eyes betraying the same fear I feel. I see his hesitation. I know what he’s going to do. He’s going to recant. He’s going to tell me to come back because this part is too hard.
But we both know we’ll end up in this spot eventually. It might as well be now.
Tears build in the corners of my eyes again as a wave of overwhelming heartbreak threatens to drown me.
I hold his gaze. I love you.
“Turquoise,” I whisper.
I don’t wait to see his reaction or give him the opportunity to tell me no.
I do what’s best for us and end things. For how long? I don’t know. But I do it while I can.
TWENTY-NINE
Ashley
I knock gently and then tug the door open. “Mom? Are you home?”
“In the kitchen!”
I enter her house and breathe in the smell of apple pie. I’ve never had apple pie make me want to cry before.
“I didn’t know you were coming—oh, sweetheart.”
She sets her knife down and comes to me. I lean against her shoulder, losing all control of my emotions.
My tears fall free and fast. They race down my face and onto her shirt, making the yellow fabric nearly brown.
“Shh,” she says, rubbing the back of my head. “It’s okay, baby girl. It’s okay.”
I pull away and make a futile attempt to dry my swollen eyes.
“Ashley, what’s wrong?” She grabs a tissue and hands it to me. “You’re scaring me.”
I find her table through the haze and sit.
The thought of having to go through everything with her right now, when my whole life feels like it’s in chunks on the floor, is almost insurmountable. But that’s why I came here. If I’ve ever needed my mother’s advice, it’s now.
“I don’t know where to start,” I say.
“People say to start at the beginning, but sometimes that doesn’t make the most sense. So pick the spot you’re most comfortable talking about, and we’ll engineer the story around it.”
I smile sadly in relief.
“Why is your face red?” She touches my chin gently and moves my head side to side. “Is it swollen?”
“Probably.”
Anger paints her face, and she stands. “Why?”
I watch her move to the kitchen and fill a bag with ice. She grabs a dish towel and covers it before handing it to me.
“Ashley, you better start explaining.”
“Eton showed up at Mega Pint last night.”
She stills. “And?”
“He hit me.”
She storms to the kitchen and swipes her phone off the counter.
“Who are you calling?” I ask.
“Sara.”
“Why?”
“We have business to take care of.”
I laugh. “What are you going to do? Honestly, Mom. What’s your plan?”
“I’ll have quite a drive to figure it out. Sara’s pretty creative. We’ll make it work.”
“Sit down,” I say, tapping the table. “Put the phone down and sit. Eton has already been taken care of.”
She stops swiping. “How?”
I blow out a tired breath. The sound makes her pause.
“He was arrested, and I’m pressing charges, for one.”
Mom lowers herself slowly across from me. “And two?”
“Maddox and Banks showed up.”
It’s all I can say without crying again. But it’s all I have to say.
Mom sets her phone down and looks relieved.
“They were arrested too,” I say. “I called the police station this morning, and of course, they won’t tell me shit. But I tried to make sure they knew that Mad and Banks were defending me—and themselves.”
“Were they bailed out?”
“Last night. Perks of a small town, I guess.”
She nods, furrowing her brow. “Did you get checked out? Are you okay? Is anything broken?”
“The medics looked at it, and I’m fine.”
She narrows her eyes. “Maddox didn’t blame you, did he?”
“No,” I say emphatically. “Not even a little. I’m the one who felt bad.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“I know. I had a moment when I felt like it was kind of my fault, you know? Maddox was there for me and so was Eton—I was the link. But then, on the way over here, I realized the truth. None of this is my fault. I don’t know why my automatic response is to blame myself.”
She covers my hand with hers. “It’s partly because you just feel sad that this exists, and you feel in the middle of it—like you’re the connecting piece of the wheel so it should all funnel to you.”