Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 89012 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 445(@200wpm)___ 356(@250wpm)___ 297(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 89012 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 445(@200wpm)___ 356(@250wpm)___ 297(@300wpm)
Those thoughts are a distraction from the real thoughts taking up residence in my head. When I can tell I’m trying to distract myself, there’s trouble brewing.
I know how I missed all of Maddox’s layers, how I didn’t see his wonderful qualities. There’s not a big mystery as to why I didn’t see his beauty under his sexiness or the sweetness beneath his goofiness.
It’s because I didn’t want to.
“Dammit,” I whisper.
I pull my head back to the darkness and sigh.
When I frame my relationship with Maddox over the last twentysomething years, I see it all differently. The moments when we were almost this.
The nights around the bonfires, just the two of us while everyone else partied, sharing stories. The day he found me sitting in my car outside of Publix, drying my eyes from a heartbreak a few hours earlier. He sat in the passenger’s seat, listening to me tell him how my life was over because some asshole dumped me to the background music of Toni Braxton. The week we had detention because we started laughing in Spanish and couldn’t stop. Disruptive when together, must be separated is what the letter told my mother.
So many times, we could’ve found ourselves like this … but we didn’t.
He got me out of my car and gave me a big hug. And then watched me drive away. I’d found solace in Maddox’s friendship, and I vowed to never date another jerk for as long as I lived. I chuckled when my mom couldn’t discipline me for our laughter, and we moved seats in class.
We were so close, so many times, to taking our friendship to a different level. Either on our own accord or due to the universe’s interference, it never happened. And somewhere along the way, we decided that was the right answer.
And it might’ve been because taking down my self-imposed shield and allowing myself to see Maddox as a whole—all of his sides and truths—doesn’t feel right.
It feels too right.
Yet nothing has changed. The circumstances are the same. Maybe I was wrong, and he’s not a player—maybe I ran with that story because it fit my narrative. I don’t know. But it doesn’t matter because he’s fling material.
I heard it from his own mouth.
So why does my heart feel so full when we’re together, and why am I already regretting the end of this? Why does one part of me think that ending it might be ending something that I’ll never have again, while the other part of me knows that it has to happen? That it’s going to happen. That it’s going to happen and I’m better off if it ends before I get too comfortable in this mess.
My happiness is at stake here. My happy ending. I can enjoy my time with him—enjoy it to the max. But I can’t forget that I’ll have to exit this fling if I’m ever going to enter a relationship for life.
I sigh. Will I ever find someone as compatible, fun, selfless, and kind as Maddox? That’s probably the hardest part about ending this. The question of it all just peaked, and I’ll find myself settling elsewhere.
Maddox’s arms slip around me, and he places a soft kiss on the spot where my neck meets my shoulder.
“Come to bed with me,” he whispers, his voice barely audible over the crashing waves.
I close my eyes and relish the moment. Remember this feeling.
I turn and look up into his sleepy eyes.
“Okay,” I say softly. “Let’s go.”
NINETEEN
Ashley
“Wake up.”
I groan and roll away from the voice.
“Hey, Birdie, wake up.” The mattress dips. “I have a surprise for you.”
I make a face and look over my shoulder. The light is bright. “Surprises are better in the afternoon.”
Maddox laughs and leans in to kiss me.
I bury my head in the pillow. “No. I haven’t brushed my teeth.”
“Kiss me.”
“No.”
He straddles me, making me squeal. His hand wraps easily around my wrist.
“If you don’t kiss me, and then get up—in that order—we can’t go swim with pigs today.”
What? I roll over and gape at him.
I’d given up on swimming with the pigs. Booking an excursion this late was nearly impossible, and honestly, once the contest began, I forgot all about it. And then when Maddox showed up … I haven’t thought about much else besides him.
“What are you talking about?” I ask.
His eyes shimmer.
“Don’t screw with me, Mad.” I sit up and brush my hair out of my face. “Are you serious?”
“James is a good man.” He leans in and, although I wince the whole time, kisses me. “Now up.”
I cup my hand over my mouth and blow. Then sniff.
“What are you doing?” He laughs. “Are you trying to smell your breath?”
“Yes.”
“You’re nuts.”
I dash for the bathroom before he can sidetrack me. “If you’re lying about the pigs …”
“What if I am?” he teases, his words dancing through the air.