Total pages in book: 25
Estimated words: 22864 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 114(@200wpm)___ 91(@250wpm)___ 76(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 22864 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 114(@200wpm)___ 91(@250wpm)___ 76(@300wpm)
The memory plays so clearly in my head, I really think I’m there. That night was going to be special, and I guess in a way it was. I remember pulling dinner out of the oven. I was proud of how good it looked. I was excited to show Gary that I’d made his favorite meal. Baked ziti. I got the recipe from his mom. I didn’t have the opportunity to cook for him often, due to my schedule, something he reminded me of every chance he got. But tonight, everything was just perfect. I got a nice bottle of wine from Vino Emporium and I had already decided that I was going to sleep with him. It was going to be the magical night I dreamed of. Besides, the pressure he put on me to have sex was starting to get to me.
As soon as he came in the door, I knew something was wrong. He worked in finance. He threw his heavy leather briefcase across the room. It hit the wall, knocking pictures down and leaving a good sized hole in the wall. I stood there, completely shocked. I must have made a noise or something because the next thing I knew, he was on me. His fists hit me first, but soon his pointy-toed dress shoes joined in the fun. Even now, I can still feel the blows he landed on my body. Afterwards, he set me in a dining room chair and cleaned me up. I prayed my daddy or brother would show up, but they didn’t know anything was wrong. I never thought he’d do something like this. Sure, he was mentally and verbally but I thought I could handle myself. I was wrong. I watched as he held his head in his hands, looking sad. I wish I knew then that it was all an act to keep me under his thumb.
“I’m sorry, babe. I was stressed. I cost one of my clients half a million dollars today. It’ll never happen again.”
I just stared at him, well, as best as I could with one eye swollen shut. My dad worked in the same office as Gary, that’s how I met him in the first place. He’d had bad days before, lost money too, but he never, ever took a hand to my mother or us kids. Never. I should have gotten up and walked away, but I didn’t. I let him manipulate me for another two years before I wised up. He was not my forever. The man whose arms I’m in now, is.
My body is shaking uncontrollably, but Fletcher holds me patiently. He’s murmuring in my ear about how brave I am, how strong, how safe. How did he know? I haven’t told him a thing about my past, but maybe it’s better this way. I’m not ready to tell him about how weak I was.
He’s kissing my hair and using his thumbs to wipe away my tears. I didn’t even know I was crying.
“I’m sorry for freaking out,” I whisper against his neck. His scent, not unlike cinnamon, washes over me and soothes me.
“You have nothing to apologize for, baby. I have to remember to control my temper and be more careful with you.” He lifts my chin so that I am looking him in the eyes. He lowers his head and kisses me possessively. He’s telling me something with this kiss, I just don’t know what it is yet.
“I needed that,” I say, licking my lips. He tasted like coffee and like he was mine.
“I know. All you have to do is ask, baby. Tell me you understand that I would never hurt you and will do whatever I can to make you happy and smile everyday.” I smile and nod my head.
“I do know that Fletch. I swear I do, but certain things just take me back there.”
We talk about therapy and then I pick myself up off the floor and step into Fletch’s private bathroom. I wash my face and hands and stare at myself in the mirror for long moments. I never liked who was looking back at me before, but I’m beginning too. I’ve always held so much of myself back, even from my family. I felt like I didn’t belong anywhere and I think I made my Mom’s life miserable, but no more. Fletcher has changed me. I want to be someone he can love just as much as I love him. I want to be happy. I want to be his in every way.
Before going back to work, I call my mom.
“Hey Mama,” I say into the phone.
“Hello, baby doll. Has work been so busy that you haven’t been able to call me?”
“Yes and no. Are you sitting down?”
“Yes. I just put Kelly and Mark on, but I can pause it. Now tell me, what’s wrong? Did Gary follow you to Houston? Your daddy had some words with him last week at the office and he hasn’t been back since.”