Total pages in book: 71
Estimated words: 72669 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 363(@200wpm)___ 291(@250wpm)___ 242(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 72669 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 363(@200wpm)___ 291(@250wpm)___ 242(@300wpm)
“I need to leave,” I urged.
“No you don’t,” he countered. “I have some things I’d like to say to you.”
My shoulders slumped, knowing where this was going before any words even left his mouth.
“Okay,” I replied, resigned.
He let me go with one last kiss to the back of my head, and I turned to see him walking unhurriedly back to the middle of the room.
He sat on the bar stool that was next to the bar that spanned one side of the room.
A place where we’d played chess. Monopoly. Drank and ate.
Among other things, I thought.
“I remember everything you said last night,” he informed me.
I bit my lip and pressed my back closer to the door, praying that it’d swallow me whole.
It didn’t.
“What’s that?” I decided to play dumb.
He narrowed his eyes.
“Okay, I know what you’re referring to, but I’m not sure what there really is left to say about it,” I amended.
He crossed his arms over his chest, making the muscles on his chest bunch and jump with the movement.
My eyes zeroed in on the tattoo that I’d seen the night before at the hospital, the one I’d prudently ignored.
Now, though, in the light of the morning, there was no denying it.
That was our tattoo.
I had the same one on my back.
When we were front to back earlier, they’d most likely been touching…as they were intended to.
His was the mouth of a cougar, strong and fierce, teeth gleaming against his sun kissed skin.
When they were touching? Well then mine looked like my flesh was being pierced by those teeth inked to his skin. Looked so real that you could swear it was the real thing.
It was stupid…something we both did when we were young. But there was no denying that we had the tattoo, and when we were in the same room, everyone would know what they meant.
He led right into what was bothering him, not pulling any punches.
“What hurts the most, is watching you walk away. We had everything. Love. Time. Our whole motherfuckin’ lives in front of us, and you threw it away in a fit of anger over something that I had no control over!” He finished with a roar. “You fucking gutted me. Pulled my heart out from thousands of miles away and stomped on it. Only minutes before I had to go on patrol,” he pointed his finger at me accusingly. “Who does that?”
I was crying.
I didn’t mean it! I wanted to say.
But I had meant it. At the time.
I’d known minutes after doing it that I’d screwed up.
I’d tried to call him back, but I’d known the instant I’d pressed *69 that it wasn’t going to work like I wanted it to.
He’d called me back after getting my message to call him. He’d called from the community phone. It was routed through so many people and places that I knew it was fruitless.
I’d written him letters.
I’d sent him emails.
I’d called. And left messages.
Over and over again.
Hell, I still sent him letters.
I’d tried to move on.
But after trying to do it for years, I knew, just like I had known with Bowe, that it was pointless.
Sometimes I put on an act…one that made me seen like I was more ‘okay’ than I really was.
I had nothing to say. Nothing at all.
‘I’m sorry’ didn’t even seem good enough.
But I tried any way.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered brokenly.
He laughed humorlessly. “You’re sorry?”
I closed my eyes.
“If you were sorry, you would’ve not said those words in the first place,” he said through clenched teeth. “Then I come home, and you’re right back in my heart. In my fucking space. And you lay that shit on me last night and don’t even have the nerve to stay? That’s just fuckin’ typical of you, Masen. You say what you have to say and never face the consequences of your words and actions.”
I shook my head, trying to clear my brain.
“I’m sorry,” I said again.
“Look at me,” he said through clenched teeth. “I want you to stay away from me. If I’m somewhere, you leave.”
I nodded. I could do that.
“Okay,” I said.
“And don’t be mean to Emily,” he said.
“Emily?” I said, hoping he wasn’t meaning who I thought he was.
“You saw her the other day at the fire station,” he said.
His wife.
Don’t be mean to his wife.
“I would never be mean to her,” I said softly. Dejectedly.
He shrugged. “Gotta cover all my bases since I won’t be seeing you again.”
Those words felt like a punch to the gut.
“Okay,” I said, nodding.
“You can go.”
I left. But my heart, as well as my pride, was left on the tile floor right inside the entrance to his parents’ home.
Chapter 6
Falls out, balls out. (Footballs, you pervs!)
-Coffee Cup
Masen
One month later
“You look so cute pregnant,” I said softly, looking at my best friend’s belly.
Mia smiled. “One day you’ll be pregnant, and then I’ll say the same thing to you.”