Total pages in book: 62
Estimated words: 57804 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 289(@200wpm)___ 231(@250wpm)___ 193(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 57804 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 289(@200wpm)___ 231(@250wpm)___ 193(@300wpm)
But I didn’t want to hurt Kerrie. She didn’t deserve that, and the last thing that I wanted to do was be a terrible boyfriend to her.
“She’s… a great person. I’m not really surprised that you guys like her,” I finally spoke up, having to force the words out. I didn’t feel like I was in a competition with them. I shouldn’t feel like that to begin with because I was already dating someone, but the way I felt about Delilah was unique. Different.
The guys appreciated her in a way similar to me. They saw her talent, her inner beauty, her charm. If I had to pick anyone for her to date, it would be one of them because they were good guys. They would take care of her how I would want her to be looked after.
But something told me that jealousy would always linger in the back of my mind because I loved her first.
Maybe part of me still loved her.
“It sucks she’s only here until the song is finished. Kind of don’t want to finish it,” Carson said with a faint laugh that the others echoed.
I lowered my eyes as a heavy feeling settled in my chest. I didn’t want her to leave. Hell, part of me didn’t want her to leave in the past, but I wanted the best for her. I wanted her to be happy, and I figured that living her dream in the big city would make her happier than her being with me. Now, the guys would have to go through the same pain that I did, and I had to deal with it all over again.
“Maybe she’ll stay,” Amos said with a small shrug and a hopeful look on his face.
I shook my head.
“We can’t ask that of her or make her feel like she has to. I didn’t let her stay before. I’ll do it all over again if I have to,” I replied before going back to hammering, ending the conversation. It ached too much to go through that thought process all over again, and I could feel the somberness from the other guys radiating off them.
Once the job was done, all of the guys but Jesse left.
“What’s up, man?” Jesse asked as I put my tools up in a black toolbox.
I kept my back to him as I frowned to myself. I couldn’t hide much from the guys, and it was harder to seem leveled out with Delilah here. She rocked my whole world all over again, and I was scrambling to get everything settled again.
What would my normal look like now, though?
I couldn’t just go back to how things used to be. Everything felt different, but what could I really do about that?
“It’s about Delilah, right? You like her too, but you’re with Kerrie,” Jesse guessed.
I immediately shook my head as I turned to face him.
“I don’t like Delilah. I’m loyal to Kerrie,” I stated.
Jesse gave me a pointed look.
“I’m not calling you a cheater. I know you care about Kerrie, but you don’t love her,” he said.
I stared at Jesse, suffering from an ache in my chest. I wanted to love Kerrie. I wished that I loved Kerrie, but I didn’t. In all honesty, I didn’t feel anything romantic for her any longer, and the guilt threatened to choke me up.
“Kerrie is a great person. We get along well,” I said.
Jesse sighed a little as his expression softened.
“She is. But you two aren’t meant to be together,” Jesse replied, batting down all of my defenses.
I swallowed hard as I lowered my eyes.
“I wanted us to be… especially after losing Delilah,” I murmured.
“Tell me what happened with Delilah,” Jesse encouraged me.
“Delilah and I have a lot of history. We wanted to be together, but she got the offer to sign with her label. So, I left her behind and broke her heart to make sure she left instead staying for me,” I explained, my throat and chest aching with melancholy.
I didn’t regret my decision, but I regretted hurting her and losing my chance of being with her like I had always wanted.
Jesse nodded his understanding.
“You can’t help how you feel. How do you feel about Kerrie? Is it like what you feel for Delilah?” he asked.
I shook my head as a look of shame filled my face.
“No, it’s not. I like Kerrie, and she’s a wonderful person. But I should be crazy about her. I should miss her when we’re apart,” I replied. “I don’t, though. It just feels like we’re… friends, and I feel like she’s fine with that. She never tells me that she wants more romance or that she wants to spend more time with me.”
Jesse placed his hand on my shoulder, giving me a firm look.
“You don’t love her. At this point after how long you guys you’ve been dating, you should feel more than what you do for her,” Jesse told me. “You obviously love Delilah.”