Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 79040 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 395(@200wpm)___ 316(@250wpm)___ 263(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79040 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 395(@200wpm)___ 316(@250wpm)___ 263(@300wpm)
“Different how?” I ask, even though I know exactly what she means. I’m just curious to hear how it felt for her.
“Like I’ve been trying to keep my heart safe this whole time. But you were right when you told me that first day. You’re a rogue. You stole it right out of my chest, and now I don’t think I want to ask for it back.”
I grin. “I borrowed it. But I have to admit I’m the kind of guy who borrows stuff and forgets to give it back.”
She laughs quietly. “It’s scary to trust someone again. When everything happened with Vaughn, I knew I shouldn’t have cared about the relationship the way I did. It wasn’t losing him that felt like everything was ending. It was more like I lost the trust in myself to be responsible with my feelings. I didn’t think I could listen to my heart anymore–like I needed to cage it up and keep it safe.”
“And then you let me take it for a ride. Big mistake.”
“Big mistake,” she agrees.
We are laying in comfortable silence and all I can think is how I want to tell her now. I should tell her now, maybe, but I owe it to Nolan to at least tell him what’s going to happen first. Charli said Landmark isn’t going to publish until near Christmas, and one more day isn’t going to damage her book’s chances. I’ll talk to Nolan first thing in the morning and then I’ll talk to Charli right after that, just like I planned.
I’m thinking about telling her I love her. But maybe that’s crazy. Not crazy to say, because I’m pretty sure it’s how I feel. It’s crazy because she’s still like that turtle from when I was a kid. She can scare easily, so I’ll just hold on to that one for a little while longer.
For now, tonight is enough for me. It’s more than enough.
I kiss her forehead and close my eyes. “Good night,” Charli.
“It’s six in the morning,” she laughs. “I think you have to say good morning.”
“Good morning, then. But it was a damn good night.”
18
JAMESON
“Fuck,” Nolan says. He’s in the chair in his office and looks dejected.
“I can’t do it to her,” I say. “I kept figuring things would go the way they usually do. Once the fun wears off, I get bored or just realize it’s not worth the hassle to keep up with a relationship. But it isn’t happening. It’s only getting worse. I’m thinking about her all the time, Nolan. All the fucking time.” I run both hands up my face and through my hair. “I feel like I’m losing my mind. And the idea of letting Landmark put her book out there with someone else’s name on it? Shit. It has been making me want to put my fist through a wall. We can’t go through with it.”
Nolan temples his fingers in front of his face. “So let me just be sure I’m understanding this.”
I brace myself. I can hear it in his tone. He’s not just a little pissed. He’s on the verge of nuclear.
“The woman you met, what, two weeks ago?”
“More like three…” I say.
He dismisses my reply with a quick jerk of his hand. “This woman you just met. She’s more important than our company? The company we’ve spent years building? Your plan is a good one. It’s a great plan. If we stick to it, Landmark will have shit all over their faces and we’ll come out shining. Your girl will get her book published, which is more than most talented authors in the world can ever hope to say about their work. Sure, she has to stress for a few more months. Maybe the reception won’t be as explosive for a book that gets published and then unpublished with controversy, but so fucking what? Life isn’t easy. She should be grateful to get even this much from us.”
I know there’s a touch of truth in what Nolan is saying. Talented or not. Beautiful writing or not. Authors these days are lucky to get any eyes on their story. Having a publisher like Gray Wolfe is more good fortune than most people could hope for. But my aversion to the idea goes beyond logic.
“I just can’t do it to her,” I say, shaking my head. “I can’t.”
Nolan’s expression hardens. “Then I’ll do it for you.”
“We’re partners. I can’t let you do it, either. It’s not happening, Nolan. We’re going to find another way.”
“Like hell we are.” He slams his fist on the desk. “I’ll call her and tell her the plan myself. I’ll explain how grateful she should be.”
“Fuck you,” I say between my teeth.
He shakes his head at me, disappointment clear in every line of his face. “So this is how it goes, huh? Throw it all away over some woman? Everything we worked for?”