Total pages in book: 93
Estimated words: 86059 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 430(@200wpm)___ 344(@250wpm)___ 287(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 86059 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 430(@200wpm)___ 344(@250wpm)___ 287(@300wpm)
I wonder where we could go if we could talk.
The realization's a heady one, but I push it aside. Even if we could talk, I can't leave the fort. Manda and Jenny will be punished if I do, and I can't let that happen. I have to return by tomorrow night.
Suddenly, the fact that we've flown out so far away from Fort Dallas doesn't feel exciting, it feels like a problem. What if Jurik won't take me back? What if he never wants to go back? I look over at the dragon, but he's busy shearing his scalp, his eyes closed with concentration, arms raised. I ogle him just a little, too. He's gorgeous. The big arms raised up to help with the shaving are bulging with hard muscle, his skin the most fascinating shade of gold. His belly is lean and nothing but muscles, and the water laps just below his navel, hiding everything else from view. He's got arm spikes and a sprinkle of horns at his brow, sure. But gazing at him like this? He could be a movie star, he's so attractive.
Would it really be so bad to mate with a dragon? To give myself to him?
It's not that I hate the idea, I decide. Jurik has been kind to me, and sometimes he makes me smile. It's the idea that we have to do things so quickly. We don't have time to get to know each other. I basically have to jump into the sack with him before tomorrow night so he can take me back to Fort Dallas for a check-in.
You didn't mind what he did this morning, my traitorous brain whispers. You were all gung ho when he was touching you and tearing your clothes off.
So why am I reluctant now? I can't figure my brain out. All I know is that there's something about this that's making me drag my feet. Maybe it's because I'm a virgin and sex is still a big deal to me. Maybe because there's no going back after I seal the deal with Jurik. He's not going to want to hook up for a few days and then go our separate ways. Lord Azar made it sound like it was forever.
Maybe it's that “forever” that scares me, because for all of his lithe beauty, Jurik's still a wild dragon and an enemy. I touch the scars on my face, trailing my fingers down my neck and over my collarbone and shoulder, where my scars end. Dragons have destroyed everything for me—my face, my family, my home, my future.
And I'm supposed to welcome this one into my arms. Maybe that's part of the problem. Maybe I still resent him for what his people have done. It doesn't matter that Azar said he's been driven crazy. He—and his people—have still taken everything from me, and yet I'm supposed to smile and open my arms to him. I turn away, frowning at my thoughts.
Jurik splashes loudly, and I turn back. He emerges from the water and runs a hand over his newly shorn scalp, grinning at me. He lifts his chin and rubs his head again, as if asking if I like the change, and I can't help but chuckle at his boyish expression. With his hair cut to his scalp, he looks…younger. More reckless and fearless, but also more playful. His stubborn chin looks twice as stubborn now, but I like it.
I like Jurik, too.
It's just… I sigh. It all still feels forced.
Maybe if he'd kiss me, I'd feel different. If he kissed me, it'd feel more…romantic. Like we're both choosing this. Right now it just feels like he's choosing and I'm submitting.
Then again, what in my life in the last seven years has felt in my control? Nothing.
Nothing at all.
I'm suddenly so tired of it. Why can't I be in control of anything?
23
RACHEL
”Ruh-chul?" Jurik asks, swimming out to my side. He touches a hand to my cheek, a curious look on his face. He knows something's bothering me.
I force a smile to my lips, and he brushes his thumb over my mouth. The small, tender gesture feels good, and I wonder what it'd be like to kiss him.
I wonder if he'll let me teach him.
Maybe it's time that I take control of one small thing. I study his face—his pouty, full mouth that hides such dangerous teeth—and decide that yes, I should kiss him. I should show him what I want when he touches me, because if I don't, no one will.
Moving forward in the water, I slide my shorter arm around his neck and press my breasts to his chest, our faces at an even height. His hand immediately goes to my back, holding me to him, and he makes a soft purring sound in his chest with pleasure, his eyes whirling gold as he watches me.