Total pages in book: 114
Estimated words: 107639 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 538(@200wpm)___ 431(@250wpm)___ 359(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 107639 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 538(@200wpm)___ 431(@250wpm)___ 359(@300wpm)
It was one thing to try to keep boundaries with the adults in my life, but this happy toddler with her cheek-smacking kisses was a boundary-destroying machine.
She was also a potent reminder of the future I’d always wanted—a large, boisterous family to make up for the oppressively quiet household I’d grown up in, a devoted husband, a house that felt like home—but seemed unlikely to ever have.
In order to make it happen, I’d have to find someone interested in being the primary caregiver for our children. And they’d have to be okay taking second fiddle to my commitment to the men I worked for. They’d have to be responsible, caring, selfless, capable, committed.
Essentially, a unicorn.
Hence, my single life… and hence my inability to seriously consider Landry Davis as a serious potential partner. While I knew he also wanted kids one day—and was annoyingly great with them—he wasn’t in a position to settle down. Or maybe it was more accurate to say he didn’t show signs of wanting to settle down.
Although he did retire from modeling…
I blew out a breath and stood up. It might be late in England, but the sun was still up here in San Cordova. While I wasn’t due for a specific class, there were always meditation sessions I could join. It seemed to me this would be the perfect time to try and get back into a more grounded headspace.
One in which I stopped imagining what it would be like to settle down and have kids with Landry Davis.
I’d come here to focus. To evaluate. To strategize.
I hadn’t come here to fantasize.
“Let the sweetness of the drink remind you that joy is found in the simplest of moments. Cheers.”
Jamie’s voice was softened by the alcohol as well as the teasing grin on his face.
“This can’t be your first retreat if even your toasts sound like Chaska’s wisdom,” I said with a laugh. Jamie and I had shared several good conversations since arriving, and when he’d suggested drinks at the pool bar after our meditation session, I welcomed the distraction. That had been four fruity cocktails ago, and we were now knocking back fresh drinks and a tower of chicken nachos at a table between the bar and the sun loungers.
“Believe it or not, I was a retreat virgin before this. Although with views like these and company like yourself, I can imagine they’re addictive.” Jamie shot me a wink as he reached for another chip.
Island music played from hidden speakers while the warm breeze blew away the heat from the sun, and I decided maybe Jamie’s fake Chaska quote was right on the money.
I settled back in my chair and focused on being present in the moment.
The slight spice on the chicken. The cool sweetness of the rum punch. The low hum of conversation. The utter lack of needing to be anywhere other than here, indulging in this beautiful location with an attractive man who shared my interest in Chaska Inira’s ideology.
“You told me you live in New York, but you never mentioned what you do for a living,” Jamie said, stretching back in his chair and angling his long legs to catch the sun.
“I’m an executive assistant,” I said for what seemed like the millionth time on this trip. Asking someone’s occupation seemed the go-to conversation starter. “What about you?”
Jamie motioned to the bartender for another round of drinks. “I’m a finance director at an investment firm in London.”
“Ah. That explains how you can afford to spend a month at a place like this.”
He studied me with a grin. “And what’s your excuse?”
I shrugged modestly. “I’m well compensated. I also work my ass off. It took a team of five people to fill in for me this month.”
“You must be very good at your job.” The grin he shot me was halfway between flirty and merely friendly. “Do you like it? Are you achieving small daily fulfillments, as Chaska advises?”
“I love what I do. I love being essential to the smooth running of the business.” I grinned. “Some people might say I’m a workaholic, but I prefer to say I like being busy. Being busy and vital makes me happy.”
“Same. The men and women I’ve dated have rolled their eyes at me for being too ambitious, but personally, I think there’s nothing sexier than someone who knows what they want.” Jamie’s gaze met mine, and he lifted his glass in a little toast before draining the rest of his drink.
My face went hot, and I was grateful when the bartender appeared with fresh drinks and set them down in front of us with an easy smile. The local man stayed and chatted for a moment about the weather and locally sourced produce, his relaxed attitude reassuring us that whatever civil unrest was happening in the town of San Cordova was far removed from our experience here on the resort.