Total pages in book: 151
Estimated words: 142976 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 715(@200wpm)___ 572(@250wpm)___ 477(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 142976 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 715(@200wpm)___ 572(@250wpm)___ 477(@300wpm)
“Gideon and Beth really go overboard this time of year,” Kenny continued. After taking a sip of wine, she lifted her glass to indicate around the room. And Fern gasped in delight as she appreciated—for the first time—the Christmas decorations.
“Oh my God, I love it,” she enthused a little too loudly in her excitement.
“Aah, you’re one of those,” Kenny said with a soft chuckle.
“One of what?” Fern asked.
“A holiday whore.”
Fern choked on a sip of the daiquiri mocktail Beth had considerately handed her shortly after their arrival and then laughed.
“What even is that?”
“Someone who lives for this shit. The decorations, the food, the tinsel…”
“Bah humbug and all that, right McKenna? Nothing as human as a little Christmas cheer for my frosty little snowwoman.” Smith came up to join them, his words and tone sounded joking but there was something else there. Something almost snide that made Fern decide that maybe she didn’t like him much.
Kenny’s smile froze, and the warmth faded from her eyes.
Not sure what was going on with them, Fern swallowed and desperately sought to alleviate the awkwardness.
“I get how some people might think it’s a lot, but I love it,” she said, a little too loudly. “I spent most Christmases at boarding school—as student and then staff—usually with only the unlucky members of the faculty who’d pulled holiday duty for company. Some of them tried to make it more festive, but the school principal—a religious curmudgeonly woman—often reminded us that Christmas was about the birth of Christ and not Santa Claus and presents and, well… tinsel. When my mother was alive, decorating the Christmas tree was always a big deal for us. But that tradition died with her.”
She cast a wistful glance up at Beth and Gideon’s beautiful Christmas tree. It was a mishmash of old and new decorations, gaudy, sparkly plastic ornaments, along with delicate glass blown works of art, ribbon, tinsel, angels, fairies… so many lights. It was glorious. And it had clearly been decorated with love and probably a great deal of laughter. The star at the top was lopsided, the tree itself was listing slightly… but Fern couldn’t stop staring at it.
Her hand went to her abdomen as she realized that next Christmas she’d have a six month old and she could start her own Christmas traditions for her baby to grow up with. She smiled wistfully at the thought.
She looked away from the tree, straight into Cade’s brooding eyes. Kenny was still standing beside her, quiet and distant after her husband’s words. Smith had retreated to the liquor cabinet and had poured himself a drink. Something amber and strong looking, he tossed it back in one go before pouring another.
Not sure what to say, or how to breach the silence that had descended between her and Kenny, Fern stood in uncomfortable silence, keenly aware of Cade’s gaze on her. Beth and Gideon were in the kitchen, laughing, and playfully teasing each other… happy and in love. The complete opposite of the other couples present.
Kenny gave Fern a weak smile, the burgeoning friendliness of before completely gone. Hidden behind a frigid, emotionless mask.
“Uh, excuse me, I need to uhm p-powder my… go to the bathroom.” She turned and left abruptly leaving Fern to stare after her in dismay.
She wasn’t alone for long though, Cade joined her seconds later.
“Everything okay?”
“I think your sister is upset.” She paused and then added in a confiding whisper, “Also, I don’t think I like her husband very much.”
“Yeah,” he said with a long sigh. “Join the club. I’ll call her tomorrow to find out what’s going on. How are you feeling?”
“Me? Fine…” She blushed beneath his searching stare. “Why do you ask?”
“You seemed a little reserved earlier, with Beth.”
“I told you before, Cade, it’s hard for me to form attachments when I know that it’s destined to become yet another doomed relationship and God knows, I feel like enough of a failure as it is.”
“You’re not a failure,” he told her in an urgent undertone, his hand wrapping around her bare bicep in a firm grip. “Don’t talk about yourself like that. I understand that it’s terrifying to let people in. But you can’t close yourself off from the entire world, Fern. Beth wants to be your friend and you want her friendship. And, even if we were to split up, I would never expect you to give that up.”
If?
She still vividly recalled the phone conversation she’d overheard all those weeks ago. Still carried the words—which had not even been aimed directly at her—in her heart like painful scars. Fern wasn’t the woman he’d ever considered settling down with. She wasn’t his type. He didn’t believe her to be a good match. She’d known that since the beginning. Hearing him admit it out loud had only solidified that fact.