Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 81986 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 410(@200wpm)___ 328(@250wpm)___ 273(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 81986 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 410(@200wpm)___ 328(@250wpm)___ 273(@300wpm)
He was my center. The depression group emphasized self-care activities like meditation and journaling. Sam was that for me, my favorite form of self-care and the thing that rebalanced me. He could put me on my knees and clear my head with a single word.
I hoped he would do exactly that.
Yet when we reached the third floor, Sam headed purposefully through the bedroom, bypassing the bed and all its delicious distraction possibilities, heading right for the bathroom.
“What are we doing?” I asked. We’d both showered prior to church.
“We are taking a bath.” Looping his arms around my neck, he gazed fondly at me as if offering a gift.
“In the middle of the afternoon? On a Sunday?” Funny, I sounded far more like the scandalized virgin than Sam, who released me to start confidently stripping off his dress shirt.
“Yes, Worth. People can take bubble baths any time of day, and getting clean is hardly a sin.” His eyes glittered. “Of course, the plans I’ve got in mind are plenty naughty. But not sinful. Nothing we do when we make love is a sin. I refuse to believe that.”
“I agree. Nothing between us is a sin.” I skated my hands down his bare shoulders. “Everything you make me feel is too right to be wrong. Even the hard things. You make the difficult stuff hurt less. Thank—”
“No saying thank you.” He placed a finger over my lips. “It feels right to me too. And no thinking about the hard parts right now. Strip.”
“Yes, Sir.”
He tilted his head, watching intently as I made quick work of my clothes. “You really do like following orders, don’t you?”
I gave a slightly uncomfortable laugh as I nodded. “Don’t ask me to analyze it. I like not having to guess. Guessing games are stressful. I like knowing exactly what I have to do to earn a reward.”
“Exist.” Grinning affectionally, Sam removed his pants before embracing me tightly from behind. “But if you want specific orders, make us a bubble bath. Hot but not too hot. Lots of bubbles.”
He made a little go-ahead gesture, raising an eyebrow like he had high standards for bath-making. The hint of sternness made me want to give him towers of bubbles. Forget if it was silly for adults. If Sam ordered it, then Sam was getting the perfect bath.
“You’re good at giving orders.” I added a healthy amount of the herbal bubble bath he had on the side of the tub, along with a scoop from the jar of Epsom salts nearby. The Japanese-style deep tub was tucked against an attic eave. Not the longest, but more than able to accommodate two adults. The way Sam indulged his own comfort was inspiring to me. I’d ignored such things for far too long, acquiring status symbols but never really thinking about what would replenish me. And if Sam ordered me to do that kind of self-care, well, so much the better.
“You’re easy to boss around.” Standing next to me, Sam swirled a hand through the steamy water. “Maybe because you seem to need it so much.”
“I do.” My voice wavered, a moment of bald honesty. “I need someone to please. Someone with clear expectations. Someone without…” I trailed off because up until a few weeks ago, I would have added wanting someone with no complicated emotions. But with Sam, it’d been complicated from the jump. And emotional went without saying. Crazy as it was, I craved how everything with Sam was tinged with layers of feeling. Terrifying, but I wouldn’t trade him and what we had. “No games,” I said instead. “Someone I can’t let down.”
“Worth”—Sam grabbed my bare shoulders, stopping me from adding more bubbles—“you can’t let me down. Ever.”
“You have so much faith in me.” I stared at the sudsy water, unable to look him in the eye because I knew better.
“Always.” Tipping my chin with gentle fingers, he forced me to meet his gaze. “Listen to me. You are not a disappointment to anyone. The world is better with you in it.”
“I’m trying to believe that.” My voice came out all croaky. “Even if no one else notices, I tend to let myself down. Sky-high expectations and all.”
“I know. And I know you’re trying. You’re doing great. Just keep remembering it’s okay to be human.” Sam kissed me so sweetly and thoroughly that I almost forgot about the filling tub until he released me and switched off the tap. “Now into the water. Be good, and I’ll let you scrub my back.”
“Thank you.” After we settled in the hot water, I proceeded to do just that, using a big fluffy sponge sitting near the bath salts. There were simple pleasures in the warm water, the slippery bubbles, his pink and soapy skin, the small sounds of encouragement he made. “Maybe it’s good to be human.”