Total pages in book: 74
Estimated words: 73828 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 369(@200wpm)___ 295(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 73828 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 369(@200wpm)___ 295(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
He takes a deep breath and then drinks more of his latte, as if it’s got alcohol in it.
“I mean, it’s not your fault you fell for the guy,” he says when he finishes. “Hell, obviously I of all people can understand that. And I’d be lying if I said I’m not a little fucking jealous right now.”
“I understand.”
“I don’t want to play around and say I’m cool, but I’m your friend still. Your…recovering friend.”
He glares at me again, but smirks at the same time, giving me some reassurance that this can be repaired.
“So tell me about how all this got going?” he asks.
I sit down and catch him up, letting him know about how everything unfolded and how much I didn’t think we would end up in this place. By the end of it, he pats me on the back and says, “Thanks for doing this. It means a lot to me that you cared enough to come find me and talk about it. You could have just as easily been like, ‘Fuck, Keith,’ and been done with me.”
“I wouldn’t want to do that, Keith.”
He rises from the chair. “Come on. Let’s hug it out.”
I stand up and we hug.
He rubs my back, maintaining his grip for a few moments too long.
I chuckle.
“Just trying to make it as awkward as it should be,” he says.
And we laugh together.
He pulls away, the somber expression he was making before transformed into a grin.
It’s nice not feeling like I’m dragging secrets around with me.
It’s nice feeling free.
29
TIM
I check my button-up and tie in the bathroom mirror.
“I look stupid.”
“You look handsome,” Nanna says. She stands in the hall outside the bathroom as I check out one of the few sets of nice clothes I own—and only because Roy made me buy some so we could infiltrate some of the fraternity formals. As Nanna steps into the bathroom to adjust my tie, I note the stark contrast between what I’m wearing and her sweats and old T-shirt. While I’m out having dinner at some fancy restaurant Mark’s picked out, she’ll be keeping herself occupied with a few books she’s downloaded to her Kindle.
This is Mark’s and my first real date. A sort of cross between a date and a celebration of my job.
It’s been three weeks since I started at The Independent, a billiards bistro in Midtown. I got the lead from one of my clients. Hasn’t been too hard falling back into my old line of work. I kept dealing for Jesse a little bit just out of courtesy, but I’ve been out of the business for over a week and a half now. Jesse was bummed to lose me, but he was understanding. Said if things didn’t work out—which he assured me they would—he’d take me back. Bartending won’t put a dent in the debt. I know that. But as Nanna said when I told her I was going to be making less money now that I won’t be a bouncer anymore, “We might spend our lives trying to crawl out of a hole, but at least we’ll be doing it together.” And I think she was right. Since I started this job, I feel like I can talk to Nanna and Mark about shit. Even being underwater is better when I’m not alone.
“Maybe I should wear a T-shirt and jeans,” I say. “I don’t belong in a fucking tie.”
“Yes, you do. You look amazing, and I’m going to stand in the doorway and block you from your room until you promise me you’re going to wear it.”
“I can take you.”
She places her hands on either side of the doorway. “Make my day.”
As I chuckle, she smiles too.
“There you go. That’s the Timmy I want to see right now. My adorable boy who’s fallen for an amazing guy.”
My cheeks warm.
“Oh, God. Did I make you blush, Timmy?”
“Shut it!” I turn away from her, but I know she can see my profile in the mirror.
“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. You’re in love, and it’s so precious. I’m just happy you’re finally letting yourself have something for you.”
“You and me both.” I turn back to her.
She steps closer and runs her hands through my hair, eyeing it with care as she fixes it.
“There. That’s better. No, you’re going to go out and have some fun tonight, and you’re going to forget about the crazy old lady at home who’s been worried about you most of your life. You’re going to leave behind the past—those things that weren’t your fault.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t act like I don’t know what that talk was all about the other week. I know you haven’t gotten close to anyone in a long time, and it’s because you didn’t have the fairest of upbringings. Life isn’t fair, as I’m sure you’ve noticed with that and all this stuff with my cancer over the past year. But that’s why when something good comes along, you seize it and enjoy it as much as you possibly can. Because you never know when it might slip away from you.”