Total pages in book: 101
Estimated words: 97417 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 487(@200wpm)___ 390(@250wpm)___ 325(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 97417 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 487(@200wpm)___ 390(@250wpm)___ 325(@300wpm)
He’d already chosen his best pair of blue jeans, but he still debated the shirt. The last two times they’d met, he hadn’t put in any effort. This time, he wanted to look his best. He’d showered, shaved, sprayed himself with cologne, and even bought new boxer-briefs.
And some condoms and lube.
Maybe that was presumptuous, but why lie? After his night of research and a trip to the store he was ready to be honest, at least with himself. He was nervous as hell, but every time he closed his eyes, he could taste Ansel’s kiss and his pulse started to race.
He had no idea what he was getting himself into, but he wanted it more than anything in his life so far. He’d made a vow to take control of his life, and this was one way to do that. Going after the things he wanted and saying no to those he didn’t.
No more avoiding conflict just to spare someone else’s feelings.
If he kept doing that, he’d never be truly happy.
His cell rang so he retrieved it from his dresser and answered.
“Fitch, man, where have you been?” Rob asked. “Annie has been asking about you again. Why don’t you come down to the pub?”
“Annie?”
“Yeah, you remember Annie Hurley, the redhead with the great rack?”
The description brought to mind the daughter of one of Donovan Construction’s best local clients and her extremely annoying voice. “Right. Sorry, buddy, I’ve got plans tonight.”
“What do you mean? It’s Saturday night. There are no games this weekend and you’re not seeing anyone.”
He was distracted by his closet again. Should he go with the dark blue button-down or more casual with a decent T-shirt? It would be warm in the club, especially when the dancing started, but he wanted to make a good impression.
“Whoa, are you seeing someone? Why the fuck didn’t you tell me?” Rob asked, bringing Fitch back into the conversation.
Shit. “No, not seeing anyone.” He answered a little too fast and immediately felt guilty for lying. But technically it wasn’t a lie. He wasn’t seeing anyone at the moment.
This was their first date, a little premature to start talking about it. What if it didn’t work out? What if, when they started getting to know each other, the attraction faded? There was no sense spilling the beans about his potential gay lover when nothing had happened...yet.
So, why stir the pot now? If things got serious with Ansel, he’d tell Rob. Eventually.
He’d tell everyone, if it came to that.
Although he had no idea how.
Luckily, Rob didn’t seem to notice Fitch’s silent alarm. “Then come out with us. The guys are all here, Sammy, Todd, Ralph, and Craig. Even Rich was able to get away from the wife and kids for a few hours.”
All his friends were getting together without him. He sighed. “I wish you’d have told me sooner, but I can’t break my—” He paused, not wanting to say date. “Uh, my appointment.”
When Rob replied, he didn’t hide his disappointment. “It was kind of a spontaneous thing, that’s why I called. Oh well, another time, I guess.”
“Yeah, for sure. See you around.” He hung up, feeling terrible for putting off his friends in favor of a date with a stranger.
Okay, truthfully, if he were going out with a woman he wouldn’t care, but he wasn’t, and choosing Ansel over his friends made him a little uneasy. What did it say about him that he’d rather have a chance at sucking cock for the first time than hanging out with his friends?
He growled and rubbed a hand over his face.
Fuck, fuck, fuck. What was he doing?
Twenty-nine was too early for a midlife crisis, wasn’t it? And by now he should know his own sexual identity, shouldn’t he? Why was he so willing to do something that could turn his life upside down? Dating Ansel had the potential to turn everyone against him.
He was pretty sure his family would come around eventually, but that wasn’t a given. What if they were disappointed in him? What if his mom wanted grandkids so bad she never forgave him? And his friends, shit, if they found out how hard he got thinking about Ansel, they’d never look at him the same.
He sat on his bed and stared into the closet. The shirt he’d worn to the club was tossed in the corner, but he hadn’t washed it. Probably never would.
Ansel’s challenging smirk flashed in his mind, those glittering green eyes lit up by the club lights, his plump lips painted bright red. And the way his abs had fluttered under Fitch’s palms during the lap dance...Fitch’s pulse steadied and his limbs grew warm and heavy. His breathing calmed until he could stand again and walk to the closet.
He pulled out the green button-down his sister had given him for Christmas last year. She’d said the colors looked good with his complexion. He just thought it would play well off of Ansel’s awesome green eyes. It was fitted near his waist and made his shoulders look bigger than they were. He rolled up his sleeves to the elbows, left his collar loose by two buttons, and grabbed his keys and phone. It was only eleven. He was way too fucking early, but if he stood around waiting for another second he might never leave his apartment.